Does anyone have a cure for Anal ............

6.30am here.....Up with the lark again this morning. Damned problem I picked up on a mole scavenge in Tonga. Keeps me awake all bloody night sometimes.
So, I was thinking....Those American chappies are really into all the various treatments, remedies and healing crystal mumbo jumbo, so why not give them a bash at providing some ideas on how to cure my problem.

So, here goes....does anyone out there have a cure for Anal Vertigo?

It is a condition that causes extreme dizziness and nausea when one farts, and an awful reddening of the face. This can be terribly embarrassing when one lets a silent one off in an elevator, and is attempting to deny ownership.

Everyone is either scrambling for the door, or looking around trying to find the culprit. Of course, a normal farter would be looking around also, in a mock sort of way, throwing the hunters off the scent, as it were. But a sufferer of A.V. can only stand there and blush thereby giving the whole game away.

Whilst we're on this subject, are there anymore unusual ailments/treatments out there that can be included in this thread ?

P.S.(later edit)....Any information on diseases that may be picked up from plucking pheasant would be helpful.

Are there any pheasant pluckers out there?