Anxious after first time gay sex, questions about stds, hiv likelyhood

Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 12:04 am
Hi there, maybe it’s the years of anxiety and shame caused by homophobic family but I’m really concerned after my first time. My stupid horny self decided it was a good idea to see what all the fuss Grindr was all about and yada yada yada some dude validated me into sex. I decided to try bottoming, oral, he seemed clearly monot experienced. I was already tested (for everything idk why) and made sure he used a condom but when I asked him about if he ever was he just said “your probably good”. Which sent my brain into panic mode after he left. MY QUESTION IS should I be concerned over catching HIV or any other stds from this experience. I’m an anxious person socmaybe I’m overthinking and worrying but if anyone really thinks it’s possible... god I just need advise... I’m a mess..
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Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 01:05 am
Please can someone say something. I came for advise and my anxiety is taking me to some really dark places.
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Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 03:52 am
You certainly seem anxious... I'm not entirely sure what you mean with 'monot experienced'...

You say that you bottomed out, that is the bit where you are most vulnerable to an HIV infection. Oral has significantly lower risk, especially with a condom.
So yes, you might be infected. I suspect the chance is fairly low, but you might be infected. Only way to be sure is to have your blood tested.

Also, if you wish to engage in sex in the future, especially if you are so anxious about these things, make sure your 'partner' has proof of health.

I wish you the best of luck.
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Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 04:43 am
What naj said.

I'm guessing monot is autocorrect for more.

But either way -- having sex with someone you just met is a risky behavior no matter what form of intimacy it takes. But don't confuse the inherent riskiness in this instance with any risk at all.

Life has risks but they are of differing degrees. This was a more risky behavior than sex with someone you know. Is sex with someone you know absolutely, 100% no-risk nothing ever, everything is going to be hunky dory forever and ever and ever?

Of course not. And that would be true whether your partner was male or female; that's not inherent in gay sex. It's inherent in reality.

The point I am making is to take this as a learning experience and try to move onto relationships where you actually send time with someone before doing the deed.

And maybe consider a talk with an impartial professional about your anxiety, okay?
Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 07:30 am
Thank you very much for your responses, frankly I got in my own head way too much which caused me to spiral into an anxiety attack. I’m terribly sorry for bothering all of you (already scheduled a consultation with a therapist). This entire thread was just an immature impromptu response. My apologies.
(yeah that was a typo)
Reply Wed 5 Sep, 2018 07:32 am
Oral is very low risk.
If you used a condom for bottom good for you but there is a small risk
Be safe
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Reply Thu 6 Sep, 2018 06:38 am
The gay community has been aware of the risks of AIDS/HIV for a very long time and tends to be more responsible regarding safe sex than many heterosexuals. You used a condom so the risk is slight.

You say that you made sure a condom was used, how was your partner's reaction? If he had his own and was quite happy to use them it would indicate he's taking sexual health seriously.
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