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Fri 20 Jul, 2018 06:53 am
My parents are gone and so is my husband. I'm a widow at 60 so I have 2 adult kids and sisters/bros in law with their kids. That's what my family is and needless to say, it is critical to stay close even though everyone lives out of town except my adult son.
I had dated someone for 2 years who they all really liked and thought I could build a future with; and so did I until I realized he was too "attached" to his old house 80 miles away and didn't want to sell until retirement (about 3 years from now). I work full time like him, so I broke up and was very disappointed. My sisters and son have been telling me to wait for him to come back but I know that's a waste of time.
I went on a dating site and reconnected with a prior bf - we had been on and off but he has really worked out his life out so he is in a good place (which is why I broke up with him). However, he did serve time 12 yrs. ago but has rebuilt his life, gotten a new career, etc. He certainly isn't well off like my prior bf nor does he has a good nest egg like me, but we really missed each other and I have fallen back in love with him; I know he has always loved me and my kids.
I'm not living him yet b/c I want to make sure the "changes" are for real but in Sept. I'm renting a beach house for me and my kids. Before I broke up with the prior bf, I invited my sister and her husband to stay a few days. I hid my relationship with him from my sisters b/c they live far away and I wanted to see how it worked out before "taking a chance".
I know my sister and husband are very judgmental, so how do I break the news? I'm afraid they won't come and won't talk to me. I understand they will be freaked out about his past and if he is using me for $, but I know the truth is different.
You sound unsure of this guy yourself, so why even bring him into the scene with your family? No need for them to get involved with him now.
Enjoy the beachhouse time. Call BF when everyone is gone to spend a day or two eith you.
May I ask what he served time for?
How long have you been widowed?
@PUNKEY,
white collar crime.
6 years.
he already knows my kids since we have been on and off again for years.
The victims never want to believe they’re being used.
At your age and considering the financial contrast between you and your friend, you should always be cognizant that you could be an intended target. Enjoy him for a while longer without making any commitment or loans or expenditures on his behalf.
If he never tries to press for a loan or a commitment for a couple of years, and the relationship works for you, introduce him then...
@tellingthetruth400,
there's just something about 60 y.o. widows with partners who live a certain distance away, have done a bit of time, and don't plan to sell their homes for 3 - 5 years
https://able2know.org/user/veryuncertain/topics/
<cough> they <cough> really seem to love a2k
https://able2know.org/user/tornbetween2lovers/
at a friend
@tellingthetruth400,
Be honest - and then tell them this:
Quote:I'm not living him yet b/c I want to make sure the "changes" are for real
sharing a beach house for a vacation is quite different than moving into together. Let your family know you also do have concerns and as a result you are taking things slowly with him. (which I hope you are and it sounds like it).
How do you feel if your family doesn't come as a result? Which is more important to you? Have you already invited your boyfriend?
If you haven't invited your boyfriend yet and you would prefer your family there - then have the talk with them. You might have to make a choice between the two - but hopefully you won't.
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