Voting abuse fix being worked on

@maxdancona,

I'll also point out that it seems like you bring a lot of baggage to threads that you comment on. The minute someone tags you with some sort of label you derail your own thread and talk about internet-culture and how unfair the internet is to you.

I can find some examples if you want, but you probably have recognized that you do this, since on several threads you feel the need to restate your position 2-5 times in short order because it keeps getting lost.

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@maporsche,

No one should be tagging anyone with a label. Doing that is bad behavior in my opinion.

When this happens, I think the best thing to do is calmly steer the conversation back to the topic, and present the relevant points clearly again. This is the best way to discuss the issue without making it personal.

Discussions should be focused on issues, not on personal attacks, and people should be judged on their behavior rather than on the opinions they express.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

No one should be tagging anyone with a label. Doing that is bad behavior in my opinion.

You're not going to change the internet Max. It's best to stop trying.

When I see you make this point (and I've seen it a lot); this comic often comes to mind (just replace "wrong" with "disrespectful"). Duty calls Max. Duty calls.

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png

1 Reply

@maporsche,

MaPorsche,

You and I are both part of the Able2know community. We are both responsible for what we do here, to make this a more accepting space, or more a closed off clique. The way that we treat other, and the way that we treat other people here determines the kind of community that exists here.

I accept your right to be here. I accept your right to express your opinions. I don't have to engage with you on any issue, but if I do, I do so civilly. I don't call you names. I might disagree with the points you are making, but I never attack you as a person. I certainly don't mind you disagreeing with me; I can express my opinion openly and so can you.

If everyone did this, Able2know would be a more civil place, with a greater diversity of opinion and less nastiness. In my opinion, this would be a good thing.

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@McGentrix,

Your memory is selective. It was a massive issue that got plenty of attention, and was not tackled any more slowly than this.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

If everyone did this, Able2know would be a more civil place, with a greater diversity of opinion and less nastiness. In my opinion, this would be a good thing.

Sure Max, then layman will come around and call you a cheese-eater and then gungasnake will post some photoshop-picture of Hillary molesting children.

But you take the badge and carry the weight of fixing Able2know against all incivility.

I won't be calling you names Max, but your beef with the internet being mean to you is silly and I'll continue to point that out.

https://media.makeameme.org/created/internet-police-someone-t2cqd7.jpg

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@maporsche,

Layman has called me a "cheese-eater". I responded to him the same way I respond to you when you attack me. I ignore the insult (usually) and restate what I think are the important parts of the point I am making. I want to focus the discussion on the interesting parts of the issue... not on the personal attacks.

We are all responsible for our own part of how the community works. We can't control what other people do, but we can do our part to make things better.

My desire is to have a community that is able to discuss issues in respectful way that considers multiple viewpoints and can respect differing opinions.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

Layman has called me a "cheese-eater". I responded to him the same way I respond to you when you attack me. I ignore the insult (usually) and restate what I think are the important parts of the point I am making. I want to focus the discussion on the interesting parts of the issue... not on the personal attacks.

We are all responsible for our own part of how the community works. We can't control what other people do, but we can do our part to make things better.

Great idea Max. I couldn't agree with this point more. We can only control our own actions and the best thing to do is ignore any slights against us.

I really look forward to you not trying to control or worrying about what the community does anymore and instead you'll only be focusing on your responses.

I for one will be happy to stop reading about how you're not part of the in-crowd and how most of A2K is out to get you and silence your voice.

Maybe you should change your sig line, as it goes against your beliefs that not insulting members will make the site better. You know what; I'll remove mine too, even though it doesn't reference you by name. With this change of heart that we're talking about, I don't think I'll need this reminder our there anymore.

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@maporsche,

I am trying to raise a serious point about building a community that accepts diverse opinions without personal attacks. You are posting insulting internet memes I don't take it personally.

There is an important group of people using personal attacks to stop people from expressing opinions they deem to be unacceptable. That is the point I am making. Thumb abuse is part of it. Personal attacks and name-calling is common in this effort to push out "wrong" opinions. It hurts open discussion, and I consider it wrong whether I agree with the target or not.

My strategy is to ignore the personal attacks, and the diversions, and calmly restate the relevant points. The goal is to refocus the discussion from the personal back to the issues. I think this is a civil way to deal with the problem.

The rest of this little diversion is irrelevant to the point I am making.

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@maxdancona,

Oh....

So you are going to choose to focus on what other people do on this board and not just focus on the only thing you can control, yourself. By definition, that IS personal.

That's your choice Max; but it directly refutes what you said earlier. I wonder if it will make the board better. I wonder how effective your policing efforts will be.

I'm actually very disappointed.

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@maporsche,

maporsche wrote:

I for one will be happy to stop reading about how you're not part of the in-crowd and how most of A2K is out to get you and silence your voice.

There is no bloody in crowd. This is Max's ego he has to fabricate this silly little conspiracy theory because he can't deal with the fact that individuals all independently came to the conclusion that he's a dishonest, attention seeking misogynist who tries to make every thread about him. Just like he's done with this thread.

I'm friends with Glitterbag, we pm regularly and talk about all sorts. I get on OK with Chai but we don't pm, and Setanta and I don't see eye to eye at all.

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The problem is the personal attacks on anyone who expresses an opinion that is deemed "unacceptable". This isn't about friendships. It is about how some people in the community have decided on a list of opinions that must not be expressed. They use name-calling and down thumbs to enforce it.

I don't care about with whom you pm. I just wish you didn't refer to people as "attention seeking misogynists" when they express the wrong opinions.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

The problem is the personal attacks on anyone who expresses an opinion that is deemed "unacceptable". This isn't about friendships. It is about how some people in the community have decided on a list of opinions that must not be expressed. They use name-calling and down thumbs to enforce it.

I don't care about with whom you pm. I just wish you didn't refer to people as "attention seeking misogynists" when they express the wrong opinions.

maxdancona wrote:

I want to focus the discussion on the interesting parts of the issue... not on the personal attacks.

We can't control what other people do, but we can do our part to make things better.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

[ I just wish you didn't refer to people as "attention seeking misogynists" when they express the wrong opinions.

I don't, I call you an attention seeking misogynist because that's what you are. I've never used the phrase to describe anyone else at all.

You have said some pretty terrible things over the years about women and the victims of rape, even going so far as supporting a paedophile running for office on a thread Lash started.

You don't seem to realise how disgusting a lot of people, especially women, find your comments. Someone who expresses such repulsive opinions shouldn't expect to be treated civilly, and all this passive aggressive nonsense about civil discourse doesn't fool anyone. You may not call anyone an arsehole but the personal comments you make about people are among the nastiest on A2K.

Above all else I'm sick of having this same conversation with you which always starts off with you whinging about how mean everyone is to you.

Why don't you just accept that some people don't want to talk to you, and instead focus on those who will.

I don't value, nor am I remotely interested in, your opinion, and I never will, no matter how much you whine and moan. Try to accept that and get on with your life, and change the bloody record.

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@maxdancona,

Quote:

No. Able2know is not a family.

You should have left it at.

...but no, you had to add this idiocy:

Quote:

In a family everyone is accepted and differences in opinion are tolerated.

What weird world are you living in max? You obviously never met people in the actual world or some members of my family.. Mother departed to her cremation, still not accepting my sexuality. We've had folks in the family disappear (essentially) and never have contact or communications again with any blood relative or in law.

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@izzythepush,

Izzy, these personal attacks are nonsense. The reason you are doing this is because you object to my opinions, which I have expressed openly and defended patiently. If you don't want to talk about me, then stop. I am not here to talk about me. I am here to make a point.

There is a concerted effort to use personal attacks (and some nasty personal attacks) to silence people who are expressing the wrong opinions. These opinions aren't even that radical, my opinions are mostly center-left.

I have argued that there should be due process for people accused of rape. That is the main point of our disagreement. This is a fairly moderate view held by respected academics, moderate and even feminists. There are lots of women who agree with me on this issue. I can make my argument, and present my point without attacking you, and I have. When you say that I have said nasty things about rape victims, that is simply a lie (as you say the record is all there... so if there is a post where I have ever done this, put up or shut up).

You are trying to make sure that nobody expresses this opinion, and so you trying to shut up anyone who disagrees with you in the nastiest way possible. It is not that you even have to discuss these issues with me, or even hear my opinions (there is an ignore button). You want to prevent anyone from hearing or discussing these opinions.

You are making my point, Izzy. I suppose I should thank you.

My proposal is that we can discuss these issues, even issues that you disagree about, without nasty attacks on anyone who disagrees with you.

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@izzythepush,

Whoever is upthumbing Izzy's nasty personal attacks either has a good sense of humor.... or is really missing the point of this thread.

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@maxdancona,

maxdancona wrote:

Whoever is upthumbing Izzy's nasty personal attacks either has a good sense of humor.... or is really missing the point of this thread.

Another possible answer is that they are simply an asshole. At least 3 of them it seems.

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@maxdancona,

For someone who has stated just a few posts ago that you want to NOT focus on personal attacks....you’re spending a whole lot of time focusing on personal attacks.

Why is that Max?

I guess I should keep my signature line for a while longer.

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It might be wise if all of us who enjoy posting or reading posts on A2K just button it up while the site owner is attempting to fix the thumbing abuse problem. I just can’t imagine how frustrating it is to be Robert, having gifted this site and maintaining it, to hear nothing but gripe, gripe, gripe. Everybody seems to think they personally have been targeted by some group and are now happily proclaiming how much they dislike other members and flinging charges around. Can’t we just butt out and let the problem get fixed?

1 Reply

Voting abuse fix being worked on

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