Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? > > >George Bush's Answer

>We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

>We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of

>the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is

>against us. There is no middle ground here.

>

>John Kerry's Answer

>While serving in Vietnam, I was in favor of the chicken

>crossing the road. Then later I realized that there

>were those who needed the chicken on this side of the

>road. Now I would like to see the chicken on the other

>side of the road, unless of course it would be better

>served to be on this side of the road. Ideally, I think

>the chicken should be in the middle of the road.

>

>

>Bill Gates' Answer

>I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only

>cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important

>documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet

>Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

>

>

>Dr. Seuss' Answer

>Did the chicken cross the road?

>Did he cross it with a toad?

>Yes, the chicken crossed the road,

>But why it crossed, I've not been told!

>

>

>Ernest Hemingway's Answer

>To die. In the rain. Alone.



>Martin Luther King Jr.'s Answer

>I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross

>roads without having their motives called into question.



>Grandpa's Answer

>In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the

>road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the

>road, and that was good enough for us.



>Barbara Walters' Answer

>Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be

>listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the

>heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious

>case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long

>dream of crossing the road.

>

>Ralph Nader's Answer

>The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road

>had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.

>The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on

>the other side of the road because it was crushed

>by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.


>Jerry Seinfield's Answer

>Why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the

>heck was this chicken doing walking around all

>over the place anyway?"



>Pat Buchanan's Answer

>To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

>

>Jerry Falwell's Answer

>Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't

>you people see the plain truth in front of your faces?

>The chicken was going to the "other side. "That's what

>they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that

>chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will

>become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until

>we sort out this abomination that the liberal media

>whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like

>"the other side."

>

>Aristotle's Answer

>It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



>Captain Kirk's Answer

>To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

>

>Bill Clinton's Answer

>I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do

>you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?



>Albert Einstein's Answer

>Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road

>move beneath the chicken?



>Sigmund Freud's Answer

>The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken

>crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.



>L.A.P.D.'s Answer

>Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.



>Louis Farrakhan's Answer

>The road, you will see, represents the black man. The

>chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample

>him and keep him down.

>

>O.J. Simpson's Answer

>It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.