Duelling doggerel!

Our friend from this blog
has misplaced his dog
and doesn't know where to find him,
Oh where did he go?
(He misses him so,
So strong are the ties that bind them)



But Leave him alone
and he'll come home
with a doggerel trail behind,
Yes, the dog will be found
from a trail on the ground,
-of a moist and malodororous kind,




But what's that I hear?
screaming Ahh-Eeeeh-yah!
it's the apeman looking pathetic,
'Sir, next time by VINE,
and then you won't find
what you stepped in while peripatetic.'

<applause>

thankee PD

The dogs, the dogs, the dogs do bark
and jump jump up down in the dark
waiting for invaders to breach the door.

The moon this night does pierce the snow;
flakes fall and fall upon the foe
lifting the knocker, one two three four....

<to be continued?

A motor trip to Chester we all undertook today
A sunny day when no rain fell so we say hip hooray
A parking spot was soon espied and then we sallied forth
To toddle through the streets of town and look at shops of course
We walked along the city wall and then down by the river
So delightful we all wished it could go on for ever
We even crossed the bridge and walked along the other side
And crossed back by the next bridge where my laces came untied
We saw some buildings 13th c and some built by the Romans
The river flowed across the weir and there we saw some foamings
The city's quite historic and a good place for a day out
We had a coffee in a shop to help the day to play out
Some sandwiches from M&S, I had a chicken wrap
I'm sorry now I've come this far you think this poem's crap
Some souvenirs and postcards too my niece from Germany bought
We all were spending money, like, without a second thought
And when at last, footsore and done, we got back to the long-stay
We all in concord did agree that we had had a good day.

That was a fine report
My thoughts I must sort...

Write me some dog
Go on
It's as easy as falling off a log
Just one
Tiny step for a man
But a giant leap for Dan
Who is so small
He's almost not there at all

If you can keep me busy with this poetry
I won't have to go and work in the garden, you see

McTag seems to have no itch
To work in the garden.
Now, that's a bitch
If my English you'll pardon.

Believe me, old mate,
I feel your pain.
My day's going great --
We're expecting much rain!

Today
A perfect day for gardening
My rain dance didn't bring much rain
None at all, to tell the truth
But I had to sleep
Forty winks or so
Because there's been a lot going on
Exhausting, being the decision-maker
Sometimes a good decision
Is simply to procrastinate
Fools rush in, and all that
Reflect, before precipitate action
Have a cup of tea.

Updated Weather Prediction:

No monsoon soon mon.

April weather is here, with its showers of rain
Old Geoffrey done started a similar refrain
Years ago, it is true, when they couldn't spell good
And most of old England was still the greenwood.

Last month it was warm, like the summer was nigh
With blue skies and blossom, and bees buzzing by
But now it's gone cold and as dark as the pit
And I've had enough, quite sufficient, of it.

How odd! Seems the weather is doing a dance -
I simply can't think that it's all down to chance -
Up there it is freezing, and dark quite a lot,
While down here, we're complaining - it's too jolly hot!

Our Chaz and Camilla have now done the deed
So now we can turn our TVs with great speed
To the steeplechase horse-race we call the Grand National
The punters' emotions are mounting to passional

Dozens of horses will contest the race
At Aintree in Liverpool it will take place
They run a lot, jump a lot, sometimes fall down
But which of the field will be talk of the town?

If the Queen can get out of the bash at the castle
And off to her flat, there she can, without hassle
Watch the race from the depths of her favourite chair
Without risk of the high winds here tousling her hair.

Now let's lift up our steins to Chaz & Camilla.
Fill mine with a frothy-foamed sarsparilla.
As for horses leaping 'cross the steeples,
Why, 'tis a braw sight for all the people
To watch and to wager and endlessly wonder
Which nag will steal another nag's thunder.

If given the choice 'twixt wedding and race,
I'd rather be watching a good steeplechase.

Dueling doggerel with all swords drawn
Knight the rook and kill the pawn
Dance the board with the rival queen
Slide the bishop in between
Create your passion with much debate
Surround the king and say checkmate!

On black and white our battle's fought
We bear the scars our foes have brought
White prancing horse jumps over squares
Captures black bishop when he dares
White queen can knock black castle down
So fearless king retains his crown

Over in Germany, where we're at
It's wet enough to fill a vat
And cold enough to freeze a cat
So what do you all think of that?

Dear McTag, I don't want to bully
But I hope that you have got your woolly
And maybe have some nice hot soup
Or have a hug with all the group

Had some dinner now, very nice
But I wish I'd taken your sage advice
Went out today rather thinly clad
Hey, when you're cold and wet, it's bad

It's cold here too
I'm wearing a sweater
And am hoping tomorrow
The weather's better