Duelling doggerel!

Two-one the Eyeties just do it
If you got sick, prepare to spew it
Or tears, shed them now
Aint no way no how
Ged Houllier's team getting through it

Oh dear, the accustomed limerick form
So easily surfaces and then- chaos reigns
War, pestilence, disease and boredom
Its a habit difficult to break
But break it we must, for the sake of our sanity

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As usual, McTag speaks sooth.
This thread had become quite uncouth
With all those wild limericks.
They're only lame gimmicks,
Though sometimes quite clever,
But I'd never ever
Resort to such subterfuge
And start a word deluge.
And that's the honest-to-gawd truth.

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The truth is ob
scure
But what seems
sure
is that dog
gerel lacks dis
cipline which makes it a
lure
unlike the lim
erick which is about
c**t and d**k and the ways
of dear long lost Nell
the famous and
re
liable
whore.

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Eskimo Nell
Tolls the knell
Of parting taste
He said sniffily
And departed whiffily

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McTag, pray try and elevate the tone:
Those last few lines were merely thrown
Between the game and fridge so chill
When you went for a beer:,

Hope it dinnae spill.

P.S. Milan may have the best legs, but they're still girls.....

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Discipline, I fear is not my suit
I'll not argue, 'tis not e'en moot
I'm wilful and woeful
I make you all doleful
Does this mean I'll have to scoot?

<Limerick perches on edge of battlements, scanning the marching armies of Eggheards and ponders it chances of survival.....>

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A good many of my lines are thrown
To land where they will
Cast among stones they deserve no better fate
Than to wither or be pecked up
By the fowls of the air
Withered, and blown by the four winds
Upon a summer zephyr
Or winter's cold blast
And if perchance any fall upon good ground
They just get flattened anyway
By passing elephants' feet
Squash

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Well I never
Dad had a zephyr

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Well I never
Dad had a zephyr
And a big
hat
to keep off the light
and to not like Nell
Is a bonging
death
knell
and a duelling and
grunting
dog fight.

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Our doggerel thread needs a breath or two
Of life breathed into it
It's languished here among the dregs
Of poesy quite a bit
I'm waiting for the phone to ring
For an expected call
To tell me I can go and help
Move furniture and all
A flitting's planned, the van is here
We need to get the keys
(They also serve who stand and wait
In such brave scenes as these )
The tea is drunk, the men are primed
And straining at the slips
It's "Tally-ho!" and off, me lads
And don't forget the tips

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You're in fine fettle
Oh welcome back!
Put on the kettle
For tea and brack
Those lads you mention
I've met a few
Will give dissension
To insipid brew
So leave the brewing
Leaves a while
A full hour's stewing
That'll make them smile!

Very Happy

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If your plannin
to brew some tannin

it takes a while
and makes you smile

how can I make this plain?
with certain brownish yellow stain.

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Speakst thou to me unruly Knave?
Of matters leaky, skank and grave?
Verily, thou art but Jester
Would make fayre Puss yellow, fester
With atrocities and unsublime
Attempts at doggerel, poesy, rhyme
Round me now, my Troopes* I'll rally
Hunt thee down, thou Wagge so scally!

(With apologies to Oliver Cromwell for taking licence with his Shade...)

*Erm....McTag? You 'my troops'? I can't pay very much.....

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If I be scally wagge
Thou art doggy woggy.

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Good Steve of London, be not vexed
At verbal forays various
For sticked and stoned is worse than texed
And oft-times well hilarious
Let us resolve to sally forth
Our loins a-girded mightily
There to confront the dragon's wrath
With texts both day and nightily

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From Dragon' s breath:

Ich denke das ich dann muss
Deutscher be: coz yer a wuss
McTag, and you too, Stevie Poo:
'Dragon's wrath' indeed..

<leaps out from behind curtains>

BOO!

To the two of you!

(had only six mins on puter, hence the drivel...shall up the ante next time)

(And yes, that IS a threat, she said sternly, clanking off in her over-sized armour...)

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ok McT she's gone. Get the cards out.

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<Thunderous voice>

HAH! Caught in the act, thou fiend from Hell
And thou McTag, a Sharpe as well?
I'd not ye thought, Regency Wittes
I'd believed ye both R :wink: yalist Twittes
For in Mine eye ye've spat and juked
Wigged and ribboned, rouged, peruked
Admiring your ankles, neath the table
Bending while still Yroll:nge and Able
Oh F:wink::wink:les ye are, as only M Embarrassed

n
Who'd Play behind the backs of W:wink:men!

<Clanks off to get a nice cool Bud from the fridge.....>

:wink: :wink: :wink:

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Gosh, plenty of misunderstandings here, and all in the name of art!
I didn't know until today that Doggerel was/is a girl! Wow! Good, I like girls. My reference to slaying dragons was only about tackling the poetry problem, not about tackling individuals, and certainly not about you, dear Doggerel(1).
And I'll be one of your troopes anytime.

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Those friggin' emoticons....they just won't OBEY me!

P.S.

I've often thought a row of those emoticons (the one with the big cheesy grin) should become the convention for a Greek Chorus in this forum....

Whaddya think guys?

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Duelling doggerel!

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