Duelling doggerel!

A quick dash
A mish-mash
Of metaphors, similes, allusions
I've been busy
Made me dizzy
I'm not used to such effusions

Your jumper?
I say 'dump'er!'
She sounds loud, tasteless - she stinks!
Pick a Pringle
A lemon single
Like Mike D's in Basic Instinct

(Who knows, your next sartorial adventure might bag you a Catherine Trammell....but let's hope the McT version proves a little more - ahem - decorous...)

A quick dash
A mish-mash
Of metaphors, similes, allusions
I've been busy
Made me dizzy
I'm not used to such effusions

Your jumper?
I say 'dump'er!'
She sounds loud, tasteless - she stinks!
Pick a Pringle
A lemon single
Like Mike D's in Basic Instinct

(Who knows, your next sartorial adventure might bag you a Catherine Trammell....but let's hope the McT version proves a little more - ahem - decorous...)

A quick dash
A mish-mash
Of metaphors, similes, allusions
I've been busy
Made me dizzy
I'm not used to such effusions

Your jumper?
I say 'dump'er!'
She sounds loud, tasteless - she stinks!
Pick a Pringle
A lemon single
Like Mike D's in Basic Instinct

(Who knows, your next sartorial adventure might bag you a Catherine Trammell....but let's hope the McT version proves a little more - ahem - decorous...)

wow, its better 3rd time reading

'Twas not my intention
To send my invention
Thrice into the forum
I pressed in the belief
The first came to grief
And now I'll be accused of boredom....

(sigh....)

P.S. Bier viel gut: Franzischkaner(Gold). A German beer with a picture of jolly monk on label...

Also, La Fruit Defendu (The Forbidden Fruit). A Belgian beauty, to be imbibed with caution. Packs quite a punch. For a beer, that is....

Jesus man, that was fast
For someone who's brain's in a plaster-cast....

your post
is not suppost
to be there thrice
just once is nice

...and I'm sure you can finish this off

The phrase 'get stuffed' comes irresistably to mind.....

For I am too, somewhat unkind...

To lazy gits what don't do nuthin'...

my brains not broke
it went up in smoke
absinthe you see
when I asked for tea
that well meaning bastard
has now got me plastered

'Cept sit aroun', or maybe go ruttin'....

(Does your mother know you're still up?)

no my mother doesnt know me anymore

McTag, my efforts are dreadful
Quite inexcusable
My rhymes a handful
Of sentiments risible
The Muse has gone
Left me alone
With nothing but but dribble....

I'll try and do better in future.....

Steve my dear
Time's up I fear
Must dash
Out of cash
Your brain's jes fine
But go easy on the wine.....


Your mother doesn't know you anymore? I wish mine's recognition wasn't quite so acute - particularly since I remain forever age fourteen in her vast and roomy skull (sorry ma!)

NIghty night!

Ah, there's life out there
That's good to see:
Versifying company
And little me, of little flair
But I've got a feeling
Others may essay a free-wheeling
Line or two
With some encouragement
And think it time well spent

There is indeed life out here
On this green earth, if not stratosphere
Where unmoved the chilly stars
Eye men's antics in fuggy bars
And moons and planets orbit
Moved not they, oh not a whit
By human predicament
Devil's brews, not heaven-sent
Those brown ales nor lagers neither
Nor spirits, ouzos, absinthe either
Nay, they'll trouser you and empty your wallet
And leave you up-ended on a stinking straw pallet

(But nevermind, it's worth the few hours conviviality, n'est ce pas?)

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder
(You thought of that, I shouldn't wonder)
But alcohol is a depressant, actually
So you'd be better off with a cup of tea
It's funny how the adverts show
Beer and such, to make things go
The opposite is true, you know.

I've shifted my share of amber fluid
In pubs from Inverness to Clwyd
Was I improved? No, I think not
It improves one not a lot
But it seems as though it does, and so
That is why the punters go-
Guinness, lager, real ale, gin,
It's your shout, Jock, so get 'em in!
Abstinence, temperance, moderation
Terms unknown throughout the nation
Lads fighting, impregnating lasses
-Behaviour crossing social classes-
Police kept busy Saturday night
From John o' Groats to Isle of Wight
Boozed-up Rambos want to fight

So when in doubt, just stick to tea
It only makes you want to pee

its also very good for you
besides it keeps away the accidents
a good strong brew
is full of antioxidants.

Fourteen, the age that you have written ...
.... my parents think I'm still a kitten
'You should do this and not do that ...'
Whereas in fact, I am a cat
With kittens of my very own
That I don't realise are grown
Their age comes as a shock I own