This one came today,.thought it was funny!
McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Info
This was allegedly posted very briefly on the
McDonnell Douglas Website
by an employee there who obviously has a sense of
humor. The company,
of course, does not have a sense of humor, and
made the web department
take it down immediately. (For once, the
'IMPORTANT' note at the end is
worth a read too....)
---------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas
military aircraft. In order
to protect your new investment, please take a few
moments to fill out
the warranty registration card below. Answering
the survey questions is
not required, but the information will help us to
develop new products
that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Pres.
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name:
.............................................
Initial: ........
Last
Name:..............................................
Password: .............................. (max. 8
char)
Code
Name:..............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:
......................
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
......../......./......
4. Serial Number:
........................................
5. Please indicate where this product was
purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Personal friend
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased: [_] Heard loud noise,
looked up [_] Store
display [_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend /
relative / ally [_]
Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was
attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that
most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas
product: [_] Style /
appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability [_] Price
/ value [_] Comfort /
convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended
by friend [_] McDonnell
Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Cool
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this
product will be used: [_]
Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_] Europe [_]
Iraq [_] Middle East
(not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_] Asia
/ Far East [_] Iraq [_]
Misc. Third World countries [_] Iraq [_]
Classified [_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you
currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future: [_] Color TV [_] VCR
[_] ICBM [_] Killer
Satellite [_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle [_]
Home Computer [_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your
organization? (Indicate all
that apply.) [_] Communist / Socialist [_]
Terrorist [_] Crazed [_]
Neutral [_] Democratic [_] Dictatorship [_]
Corrupt [_] Imperialist
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Secretary / General
[_] Retired
[_] World conquerer
13. To help us better understand our customers,
please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your
spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis: [_] Golf [_]
Boating / sailing [_]
Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_] Propaganda /
misinformation [_]
Destabilization / overthrow [_] Election
manipulation [_] Gardening [_]
Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_]
Collectibles / collections [_]
Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation
/ torture [_]
Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_]
Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_]
Mutually Assured
Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will
help McDonnell Douglas
serve you better in the future - as well as
allowing you to receive
mailings and special offers from other companies,
governments, extremist
groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for
responding to this
survey, you will be registered to win a brand new
F-117A in our Desert
Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
IMPORTANT:
This email is intended for the use of the
individual addressee(s) named
above and may contain information that is
confidential privileged or
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense
of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you
are not the intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or
copying of this email is
not authorized (either
explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
irritating social faux pas.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in
its correct context
somewhere other than in this warning, it does not
have any legal or
grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals
were harmed in the
transmission of this email, although the pit bull
next door is living on
borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the
unknown will be gratified
to learn that there is no hidden message revealed
by reading this
warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert
Notice
from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete
circle of salt around
yourself and your computer you can ensure that no
harm befalls you and
your pets.
If you have received this email in error, please
add some nutmeg and egg
whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40
minutes.
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