Lost feelings?

Hi there Ourobolus and welcome to A2K!

First of all.......I am going to asume that your girlfriend still loves you. It sounds like the past 2 years have been wonderful for you both. When you truely love someone, you don't just wake up one day and decide you are no longer in love.

I think you are just in a "rut."

Relationships go through phases. When you first meet..... the other persons attitude ~ body language ~ and all the long talks you have, are really special and unique. Your hearts are on fire & your passion is just as hot.

Then you start to evolve into a new level. One where you become more comfortable with each other. I think this is more like the "settling" in stage. It's probably also the stage where you "cement" your foundation. Your feelings for each other deepen. The only bad thing about this stage I think.....is as you fall in love with this other person, you will generally see more of the "good" things about your partner, than the "bad" things.

As time goes on .......your eyes open wide enough that you see "everything." Of course, nobody is perfect. But I think in this third stage, if your foundation was built strongly.....the strong connection that you feel towards one another, will supercede anything else.

In a nutshell......I say hang in there! If what you two have is strong, it will survive this.

To me..........loving someone with the "full" of you, is to love them with your entire being. You love them enough to weather the storms and find ways to keep the spark alive.

Good luck and the very best for you both!

Well, she says that she doesn't love me, but to me that just seems to me to be just a consequence of the rut, and she doesn't know how else to put it. I know she still cares for me a great deal, and that what we had was the happiest time of her life, and that she wants to try to get it back.

Then I guess the only thing you can do is let her come to you and say she wants to start dating again.

Do you talk to her everyday? If it were me, I would probably give her some space. I would just tell her that I love her enough to let her go if that is what she needs to be happy. Then tell her she knows how to reach you if she ever wants to talk.

Have you asked her if there is somone else?

Has she always had an easy time talking to you about her feelings....regardless of the issue?

If you guys are intimate.......... do you think she is getting everything she needs in that department?

Is there any area that you can think of, where she might not be fullfilled?

Ya, what babbling_brooke said. As an aside to what she has already said, think back to what first attracted you to her. When you talk to her, ask her to do the same thing. What was it about each other that made things special for you? Was it physical? Was it emotional? Was it intellectual? Did you run into her with a grocery cart? You know what I'm saying. Get back in touch with those feelings if you can. It sounds like you already have those feelings so I say this more for her sake. If she really thinks you belong together but she is having "issues", ask her to consider what it is about you that she was first attracted to and then see if it can be rekindled somehow.

Definitely give her some space. Give her time to sort things out in her mind. Each time you communicate with her, she is being brought back to the "here and now" and not able to have time for reflection. Let her initiate contact with you. That will be hard for you to do but it sounds like it's the right thing to do.

Best wishes for you and I hope it all works out for you the way you want it to. Just remember that in a relationship, compromise is a very important word.

Good day!

Mikey