Just say know - talking to your kids about drugs

What with television and the internet, your kids will probably learn all they need to know there...

<sigh>

Well, if you don't like that you can always depend on the kids at school to teach your child a thing or two about drugs. But, I'd strongly advise you just to prop em up in front of the TV, or just teach them to use google. I say that because you never know what those screwy kids will tell your child, so just stick with TV and Internet.

I think it fits in with the whole discussion of medicines and such. When I give my kids (3 and 5) medicine for their colds, I try to explain what they're for, why we can only give them the proper dose, what can happen if they take too much. I expect to expand on the discussion to include other medications as they get older.

I certainly haven't figured out the whole conversation, but I will approach it from the know as much as you can about them angle. I seriously doubt that my children will reach adulthood without experimenting, so I will try to hammer home certain points. Like, pay attention to dosage, make sure you're in a safe place, know your limits, etc...

Maybe I'll come up with more later. I'm going to go catch up on your 'talk about sex' thread.

Hmmm Child of the Light, that seems a bit like asking your microwave to teach you all you need to know about nutrition.

As an approach it doesn't really foster communication between parent and child.

The start with medicine thing is really good Free Duck as it could also evolve into a take care of your body conversation.

And yes, experimentation happens. Best to be prepared.

I've seen some microwaves come with little nutrition guides on the side of them.

But the parental drug talk is useless, in my opinion. A kid is either gonna do it, or they aren't. If you have a kid that isn't, all you will do is offend them by telling them things they already know. If you have a kid that is gonna do it, he won't listen anyway. But seriously, what Duck said is pretty accurate. Don't go Catholic and repeatedly yell, "If you do drugs you'll go straight to hell!" or "If you do drugs I come down on you so hard!", just tell them you shouldn't do it because of legal consequences and health reasons, but if you do, try to do it in a controled environment and such...

Good point. And also the pay attention to what you're putting in your body conversation, which can be more about nutrition. Part of an overall health education, I guess.

I guess we will have to agree to disagree on the importance of talking to your kids about things that will affect their life, Child of the Light.

I think that holistic approach is very good for small kids, Free Duck. Setting them up to make good decisions about taking care of themselves is probably the most effective remedy to possible problems down the road.

You can, but I don't do things like that.

I've gone against the standard recommendations and told my kids exactly what my drug experience was. I told them that I knew a lot of people when I was an adolescent who used drugs. Some of them are fine but one of my closest friends died at the age of 16 because drugs took over her life. My father was an alcoholic from a long line of alcoholics. Genetic predisposition to dependancies run in our family. Some people get hooked, some don't. Why take the chance with our family history.

I was a teen in the late 60s, early 70s when drug use was first becoming very popular. There were no drug programs in schools and parents had no idea what to say to their kids. I've told my kids that I tried pot a few times but the thing that turned me off drugs completely was being pushed into trying something stronger by my friends. I tried it once, screamed for five hours and needed two years before the flashbacks stopped. One pill took two years out of my life. The thing that really frosted me was my friends trying to tell me it would be better the second time. I didn't need those kind of friends.

Some 'experts' say you should be vague about your own drug history, if you have one. I felt that my history would be more effective on the table than saying, 'just say no'. We started talking about these things a bit when they started asking questions but more outwardly about 4th grade.

My dad didn't have to talk about his history -- he bought pot from my friends. He was certainly a good cautionary tale, though that's not really an option available to me. (I've never done anything beyond inhaling ambient smoke at parties.)

E.G. (hubby) and I have talked about how we'll handle it -- I think we'll both be honest, and since our stories are extremely different (me squeaky-clean, hubby... NOT) that should cover most eventualities.

But I really, really agree with the holistic part, that you don't just suddenly trot out the drug discussion from a vaccuum, but teach all kinds of underlying principles all the way through. I do the medicine/ dosage thing, too, down to vitamin supplements -- we have some gummi vites from Trader Joe's that sozlet loves, I often remind her that they're not candy, they're a kind of medicine, and she shouldn't have more than two per day.

Hubby will probably eventually impart a talk his dad gave to him (his dad was also a bad boy in his youth -- all of his side of the family was, and I SO hope sozlet takes after me in that one respect). I forget the details, but it obviously made a big impression on E.G. It was something like, do whatever you want, as long as your grades are good, you do your chores, and you're respectful to your mother.

Mo's bio-family has a very, very, long and damaging history of drug use. I worry about that genetic link.

I experiemented with many things but always had a real take it or leave it attitude towards drugs.

I had a really good friend who died while shooting heroin. He died while the needle was in his arm and it somehow siphoned all the blood out of his body. After that, I walked away from all drugs and never looked back.

I wonder, J_B, if knowing that your parents tried such things maybe makes it uncool and therefore less attractive.

How awful, boomer.

I think these perspectives help, but one thing I remember from being a teenager (I was a weird forward-looking teenager who always knew I wanted to be a mom and took all of these notes for my future self) is that teenagers think they're invincible. If someone, at some point, had something horrible happen to him or her, that just doesn't mean much. Does it happen 100% of the time? Well then.

I think the overriding thing we can do is not to say certain things, use or not use certain examples, but to just be there and be accessible. Make sure they have the info they need of course, but more than that have the kind of relationship where they feel they can talk to us, that they won't be in huge trouble and never get to see their friends again if they say, "there was pot at Devon's party and I wasn't sure what to do..."

Hi soz. You know, most of the kids I knew who were squeaky clean had parents that used. Well, not just used - abused would be a better word among my old circle.

When I was in high school the parental vogue was to buy pot for your kids. I had several friends that always had adequate supplies courtesy of their parents. How strange to think of that now.

We have gummi vites too! They love them and I like the fact that there's no extra stuff in them. We get a huge jar of them from Costco for a good price. And yep, that's part of our discussions too.

My parents never talked to me about anything. Not sex or drugs. My older brother had a serious drug problem that caused a big rift in our family when he was about 16. I was 5 or so at the time and have pretty horrific memories of how violent he was. So I had that counter example to keep in mind, but other than that, no real direction. I'm trying really hard to make sure that no topic is off limits for my kids to talk to me about. When they ask something that I'm not prepared for, I tell them we'll talk later when I've had more time to think about it. And then I do. The most important thing, I think, is to maintain credibility in my kids' eyes. I realize that when they get to a certain age they will question everything about me, but I'm hoping I can get through it and still come out respected -- at least a little bit. It's my hope that if I'm always straight with them they will continue to respect my opinion.

I don't know about making it less cool. I was going for more of the 'fear factor'. K was recently told that ecstacy will enhance all of your natural feelings. She knows she's anxious in general and enhancing her anxieties isn't something she would look forward to, so she's already decided not to try it. The fear factor approach will work for K. M is another story altogether. She's fearless, a risk taker and never turns down a dare. I'm more worried about her. I'm hoping the genetic link will keep her thinking.

You're right soz - it is establishing that open line of communication that matters.

I certainly wouldn't want to go in with guns blazing and horror stories about my old friend M. and the like.

And I certainly wouldn't want to go in saying - it was fun until it wasn't fun anymore.

You could always dare her to abstain.

lol, She told me yesterday that she thinks it's stupid. She said you never have to worry about getting hooked if you never try it. She's only 12. She was at a party where some kids were doing whippits and she didn't do it. So far, so good.