I was kind of looking for something more than that. I'm aware that I need counseling but what I'm struggling to get my head around it why I feel guilty about it. I haven't done anything wrong.
I think it's a matter of none of us having any idea even where to begin offering advice about a problem like this. The only thing we know to do is direct you to a professional who has enough expertise to provide the help that we can't.
Why can't I just forget about the 3 months
To be blunt, it's because only the counselor has the expertise to help you with that, and you haven't been to see him or her yet.