I broke up with the man of my dreams last January....

Reply Mon 4 Jun, 2018 12:06 am
This is how it went. I went to a music festival last year in September by myself, and I met a guy in the crowd who was also by himself. We absolutely hit it off in every way and we fell in love quickly. It was epic and wonderful. We went skydiving, a weekend in Santa Barbara, and he's a super talented drummer in a rock band, so I went to many shows and had a blast. It was like living in a dream. Things started going sour when he started school. We did want to stay together, but we actually lived 2 hours apart and I was driving to him whenever I could to spend weekends with him. Once he started school, he legitimately did not have time for a relationship anymore. He kept stressing out about it and questioning if we could still be a couple. It put stress on our relationship.

Anyway, we decided to be friends, and I went to one last show, and I messed up. I was so absolutely depressed that we couldn't be together that I lost control and got really drunk, and he had to take care of me and he was pissed. He said I was hitting on all of his band members, and I had no memory of it. I didn't even have a thing for any of his band members at all, we were just friends. I was completely devoted to him, but his reaction to this was HATEFUL. I was physically ill driving home, and the day after, I texted him and told him that I would let him go. He texted me back and said that he's letting me go as well. It's taken me a full five months to recover from MAJOR depression. I gained 25 lbs. I quit doing much of anything. I got really sick for weeks. The only text I sent him was about two days after the incident, apologizing profusely and reassuring him that none of it was at all what I intended. He texted me back a day and a half later with "It's all good."

I'm dying inside still, every day, thinking of our memories and how perfect it seemed and how well we went together. I'm second guessing everything now...was it really real? Was that connection genuine or just lust? Is our love strong enough to bring us back together someday? I've tried so hard to just let it go and move on, but something inside me is screaming "HE'S THE ONE, GO GET HIM," but I simply can't. Our breakup was horrible and I caused him a lot of stress and anguish I feel.

There was one point where he said "I wish I would have met you at a different time in my life." My response was "I feel like you'll be ready in three years." I'm not sure why I felt that way. But now I find myself counting the days to every one of his birthdays for the next three years. I feel like I should wait for him, but that's absurd. I have no idea if he's moved on or feels like I do. I have no idea if he will even remember the three year thing. I told him to come and find me when that time comes. But, now I'm thinking about it, how devastated am I going to be in 2.5 years when he never contacts me again?

What would you do? Reach out after he's done with school? Wait three years to see if he will reach out to me? Call him tomorrow, call him never? I'm just stuck here while my soul mate practically lives on another planet. So, so sad. Help.
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Reply Mon 4 Jun, 2018 03:39 pm
I’m sorry, dear. But people in love move heaven and earth to be with each other. He stays still.

He’s over what was once there. (Some people can shut off feelings like that) So your job is to get ahold of yourself, see the relationship as a summer fling, and move on.

BTW: I hope you are monitoring your drinking. Having no memory because of alcohol should have frightened you into re- evaluating where drinking is in your life.
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Reply Mon 4 Jun, 2018 07:52 pm
I was with someone for 4 years (we did not live together) & that ended about 6 months ago. I have only seen her in the store once since & we spoke, some of the cashiers tell me she was seen. I should have let her go a long time ago but I did (still do) not want to be alone BUT the relationship caused problems for me because she would not hold her grown kids accountable & they would impose there lazy ass lifestyle on her (& me). Now I am back to being alone in a foreign country!
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Reply Mon 16 Jul, 2018 04:26 am
If this is fate then you will meet again!
Somewhere and someday...
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