The duck and the pig

Slappy, where have you been lately?

Hehehe.....oh god.....thank you Slappy for bringing a smile and a chuckle to my life today.

That's a typical slappy joke

but it is refreshing after all the heavy load....

yeah, where ya been slappy doo?

I was on an African safari, where I killed a tiger with my two bare hands. Then made love to it's bloodied corpse.

Actually my laptop crashed last week, so I had to send it back and wait for a new one...was in New Orleans beginning of the month....I'm around for now.

Now that's funny, especially coming from you!

Especially since it really involved a trip to FAO Schwartz, a Steiff doll, and some catchup.

good to see you slappy - good to laugh too.

so why was he talking to a duck?

The penquin was driving around the North Pole when suddenly his car started acting up. He pulled into a garage and the mechanic told him he could look at it, but not for an hour or so. The penquin tells him ok and leaves to walk around town for a bit. He stops at the book store, then on to a hamburger joint, and finally, an ice cream parlor. He finishes his cone and heads back to the shop, since the hour is now up.

Walks up to the mechanic, who is stroking his chin and looking at the penquin's car. The penquin says, "What you'd figure out?"'

Mechanic looks up and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."


"Nope", replies the penquin, "that's just ice cream"

I don't get it!

Think bestiality and fellatio.

Oh!

Gus...you silly man you....

You guys know what the best way to get a dog to stop humping your leg is?

Pick him up and blow him.

Gosh slappy, now your telling - silly me, I neutered our dog.

Silly you is right, Jane.

Now you'll listen to good ol' Slappy, wontcha?

Stealing money from blind beggar's cups is good.

Seriously. You're doing them a favor. They'll only spend the money on alcohol.

Goddamn blind homeless.

Get a job!

You'd be amazed the money I make as a humble proctology model. Yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, I get paid to bend over so that doctors and registered nurses in training can learn how to stick their fingers up your anus properly.

You're welcome, and goodnight.