I just Flipped out

Hi ocsoftballer, I've read some of your past posts, and I've always been impressed that you sound really well-adjusted for your age. I like you and admire you. I was so messed up as a teenager I could hardly walk straight, much less think straight!

It wasn't clear to me in your post....did you find out this guy was cheating on you during your relationship? Like, was he seeing her when he was supposed to be exclusively dating you? Or did he see her after it was all over between you?

Either way, know one thing for sure: being a teenager is like one long nightmare that doesn't end until you're at least 20 or so. In my opinion, teenage years are By Far the most difficult years for any human being. So know that things will get better all by themselves.

Good for you for not slapping him! And I wouldn't feel the least bit obligated to be friends with him, esp. if he did see her during your relationship. Being friends with ex's almost never works out.

ocsoftballer- I agree with BorisKitten. It may be hard for you to imagine now, but you WILL get over him. Young love is really the pits. You have all the emotions, but none of the experience or coping skills. Move on. You can do better!

I know it's hard to hear something like "move on" this soon after a break up. I feel for your situation. Although I don't know how long you guys were together, if it was a strong relationship, one month of being broken-up doesn't seem like enough "downtime" - assuming both were really into the relationship. I guess I'm only trying to support the "you can do better" argument. If he was such a good guy for you, I don't know why he would switch so quickly.

I also agree with Pheonix in that relationships seem so much more emotional the younger you are. We all learn to handle our emotions and relationships a ton better during, in my opinion the 19-24 range, and learn I'm sure for the rest of our lives.

Finally, I've been in the "to-be-friends-or-not-to-be" position. And more specifically in the position where I still had feelings for the other. I learned personally, and recently really, that the friendship was really doing me a lot more harm than good. I have decided to let it go... and it was one of the harder decisions I've made since there's so many emotions wrapped up in it, but I think it was for the better.

I hope at least a little of this jabber applies and helps you out during this period. Take care.

ocsoftballer - I think what you need to know is that all of us who are older have gone through this. I remember lying in bed for days with a wet washcloth on my head after I had gotten a "Dear John" letter from someone who had, a few months before, vowed to be with me forever.

No, it is not easy to get over someone that you have cared for. I think it will be easier for you, if you realize that all this angst is perfectly normal. Each time that you go through something like this (and there WILL be more) you learn from the experiences, so you become better and better at coping with the viccisitudes of life.

oc....you most certainly have had a TON of stuff on your plate lately and how you are balancing it all is quite impressive to me. It is quite ok to "flip out" once or..... a hundred times. I think we have all been there at some point and please know that you are not alone.

This has been one hell of a week for you and if it is any consolation, this too shall pass. I understand your emotions are raw, your hormones are raging (damn pms **** anyway!). The mother in me would just love to bring you here and tuck you in bed with a warm cup of hot cocoa, lots of good talk a long overdue nap and a good "get lost from the world" book right now...just what I'd be doing for my own daughter at a time like this. And then a good long cry just to let it all out. Sweetie, my heart really does go out to you.

I've loved and I've lost many, many times over the course of my 48 years here on earth. I actually believe Mother Nature tests our abilities over and over again, to learn the skills and coping mechanisms we need to find our true happiness in life. It's a hard journey but well worth it in the end.

As far as your ex goes, and I don't know if you can do this, but tune him out of your life for while. Instead of being angry with his choice of new women, let yourself believe that he is the one who is losing, not you. Let it bring a smile to your face, knowing that you are a far better person than the other girl and maybe he is getting just what he deserves. Believe in yourself! even as your heartstrings are pulled in so many directions!

You are smart, you are pretty, you are very mature for your tender age of 16. You have so much more going for you that you really don't need to be weighted down by this dud of a dude who runs off with Ms. Crap of Reputation. Rise above all of that and shine in your own light knowing that you ARE the better person.

((((((((Hugs))))))) want some cocoa?

Thanks to all on you caring responds to my situation. you guys have been there for me the last few weeks when they havent been the best. I have decided to TRY to move on and im sure i will be able to, in time, hopefully not too long. my friends have helped even though it happened today. My friend mike has helped alot and i really care for him as does him. i know he would treat me as i need to be treated. i think we might try getting together in a little while and see how it goes.

Lady J- Thanks for the hug and i would love some cocoa if its from someone as loving and caring as you.

anyone know of a good way to get over a guy? i sure could use some help.

Time is always the best healer, sweetie and finding ways to NOT be in his presence helps a bit too. I know that is hard at school, but if you do see him, walk an alternate route with your head held high.....

**Lady J pours a delicious cup of cocoa for oc, lets her take a deep breath and bask in a moment of peace and tranquility**

Hi oc, I'm sorry thinks are such crap for you right now. It does hurt and time will make it better but knowing that doesn't make it hurt less now. Try to find some distractions that keep your mind busy. What do you like to do for fun? Maybe you can find a project that will make you feel good about yourself and keep you busy at the same time. Is there a soup kitchen or animal shelter where you can volunteer some of your free time?

Each day that you get through will show you that you can do it. Each one is a tiny bit easier than the one before it.

{{{{{{ OC }}}}}}

Mmmm been there. My best friend (who oddly is still my best friend) and I broke up in a kinda pseudo-mutual thing where we were tearing each other apart and needed some time to breathe so in the end i let him go because i cared that much... 19 days later he asked out somebody new who was 4 years younger than him (NB i'm 17 - it's not like i'm 40). Credit to him he told me first before he actually asked her out... but a few months before we'd been talking about spending the rest of our lives together. It took a few months to get my head around it where i just hated being around him - i had to be as we were best friends and still needed one another but hell it hurt! Credit to you for coping xx