Reply
Tue 22 Feb, 2005 12:50 pm
I'm engaged to a woman who is the most wonderful, trustworthy person imaginable. We are inseperable. Before dating her I had a few ill advised relationships with people who just weren't trustworthy, and I had been cheated on. I've had anxiety about it ever since. She knows about my problem but doesn't really understand it at all (simply because she's not green eyed in the slightest, lucky girl!). I tell her that it has nothing to do with her and I don't want her to change the way she does anything, but especially when I'm feeling low I get bouts of insecurity that make me suspicious (about even the silliest thing, mind you). It's almost as though the disease wants to bring about the ruin it imagines! So if any of you has positive, helpful guidance in healing this kind of thing, I want to get on with my wonderful life with her and never have to feel this destructive emotion again.
Ditto Ditto Ditto exactly what Phoenix said!
I does take time to heal old hurts and the underlying insecurities that linger on afterwards It is VERY hard to learn to trust again. But it does sound like you have a wonderful woman in your life who is very able to help you through the rough spots.
As Phoenix mentioned, that may not be enough and I also truly believe that a good counselor of Marriage and Family therapy can do wonders!
Good luck to you, welcome to A2K and congratulations on your engagement!
Are you prone to anxieties about other areas in your life? If you are generally anxious then there are some good behavior modication techniques (bmt) that you can learn. I hope BorisKitten reads your thread because she has a terrific list of self-help books that you can look in to. Also, there are professional counselors who specialize im BMT for anxiety disorders. Time heals all wounds, but anxiety disorders makes it so much more difficult.
I know BK posted her suggestions in other posts. I'll look around for them.
Hi Johnman, I've had a lot of success with Behavioral Management Therapy, also called, most confusingly, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Rational Emotive Therapy, or Rational Behavioral Therapy.
If I were you, I'd go to your local library and type these in their catalog search to see which books they have. Albert Ellis is pretty much the founder of this movement, so you can look for him as author, too. Libraries are wonderful, and free!
These therapies are great because you can feel & see results almost immediately, and they're perfect for a problem like yours, where you know you're worrying about something you shouldn't, but just can't seem to stop it at the time.
Aw, thanks, J_B, I feel so happy that SOMEONE (if not the person I replied to) listened to my posts! Sorry I'm unable to reply to your PM. Thanks for making my day!
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace