BLONDE GROANERS

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says,
"Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a
gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she
finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome
with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells,
"No, honey, don't do it."
The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk
and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm,
this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife
(undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How
should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and
burglarised. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the
house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the
sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send
me a BLIND policeman."

The owner of a golf course in Minnesota was confused about
paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his blonde secretary
for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the
University of Iowa. If I were to give you $20,000, minus
14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,
"Everything but my earrings."