Ya-ya and Chiquita stories

I HATE READING THESE! IT MAKES ME SO JEALOUS, I WISH I COULD HAVE ONE.

YOUR EXTREMELY LUCKY YOU HAVE THESE STORIES TO TELL.

OH GOSH KIDS ARE SO FREAKIN ADORABLE!

Keetah's birthday is near. She was walking through the kitchen nekkid but for a tiara and a roll of wrapping paper for a scepter saying, "my wrapper is for wrapping! My wrapper is for wrapping!"

I poked one of her buttcheeks and asked, "is your tushie for tushing?"

"No! That's my bottom, I think!"

We're having Keetah's party on the weekend, rather than on the day of her birthday.

While discussing where to go on her birthday proper I said, "maybe we should go to the M-O-U-S-E place." (Meaning Chuck-E-Cheese's)

Ya-ya says, "M-O-U-S-E? What does M-O-U-S-E spell?" Then, in sing-song, "M-O-U-S-E! M-O-U-S-E! Hey! M-O-U-S-E spells 'mouse!'"

Keetah today:

"When I a baby, I want to play!"

A few moments later...

"Yippie! Yippie! I a baby!"

Oh man that's cute...!

A car ride with Yaya:

"Daddy, I'm pushing the gas pedal!" (She "helps drive" from the back seat.)

"Daddy, what happens if you push the pedal and the brake at the same time?"

"It's bad for the engine."

"Why?"

"Because the engine tries to push and can't go."

"What's the engine?"

"It makes the car go."

"No, daddy! What's in the engine? What does it look like?"

"It has lots of parts. Pistons and rings and spark plugs and cam shafts."

"Does it have air pillows?"

"No, the airbags are in here with us."

"Where?"
"
"In the steering wheel and in front of the passenger seat."

"Is there an air pillow back here?"

"No."

"How did the air pillows get there?"

"They put them in when they made the car."

"Who?"

"The company that made the car."

"What street are we on?"

"Main Street."

"Is it named after somebody?"

"I don't know."

"Do you remember Toad's Wild Ride when I could turn the steering wheel and stay on the same road?"

"Yes."

"Are we still on the same road? When does the road change?"

And so forth....

Oy.

Toddler jokes:

"How do you catch a nut? Climb a tree and act like a squirrel."

"Why was ten afraid of eleven? Because eleven, twelve, thirteen!"



(Yaya has modified the classics, "What's the best way to catch a squirrel" and "Why is six afraid of seven.")

On a recent visit to Target:

Y: "OH! I want to be that one for Halloween!"
M: What is that one?
Y: I don't know!
K: I want to be that one!
Y: ELMO! I wanna be Elmo for Halloween. No! Look! Diego! I wanna be Diego! No, backpack! I wanna be Dora's backpack! No - Strawberry Shortcake! No - a Cheetah!
K: I wanna be a monstah!
Y: No, look! A CHEERLEADER! No MAAAAAMAAAAA! LOOOOK! A CHICKEN! I REALLY WANNA BE A CHICKEN....PLEASE MAMA! A CHICKEN!!!!

M: (Speechless - thinking - a chicken? Really?)

K: I BE A PURPUR CHICKEN FO 'ALLOWEEN!
M AND Y: A purple chicken?
K: YEA!!! I a purpur chicken! Bawk-bawk...

purpur chicken!

wow, that's a cool costume.

2 years ago my then 2 yr old neighbor was chewbaka.

now she's into fairy princess...but I've seen her with the chewbaka gun belt crossed over the chest of her fairy dress.

don't mess with the fairies in my neighborhood.

Today we were playing dinosaur.

Yaya decided that she was to be a brontosaurus, Keetah was a pterodactyl, and I was a T-Rex.

Shortly, Keetah was calling me "daddy T-rectal."

ok, quick one for the Texas crowd.

My going-to-be-four-in-february neighbor is going to be a big sister in about 7 and a half months.

I asked her what she would name a little brother.....

"Kinky!!!"

T asked Keetah what she wants for Christmas.

Keetah is thinking and says, "uh... uh...."

Yaya chimes in and asks, "you want a 'U?'"

I know which movie Yaya's been watching! Here's the original, X-rated version of the same dialogue. (It was very considerate of Yaya to sanitize the dialoge for her little sister.)

Oh f*ck....

Things I Never Thought I'd Say:

"Take that off your face... pancakes are not masks."

Perhaps your daughter has a future in the spa industry.

And for $750, our special all-day buckwheat and maple masque, made with our secret ingredient: Bisquick!

After watching a TV show about the brain:

"Daddy, what makes my body move?"

"Muscles. Your muscles make your bones move."

"How?"

"They're attached by ligaments. Muscles are like springs; they can pull on things."

"How do I tell the muscle to move?"

"Your nerves tell it to move."

"Daddy, how do I think?"

"Your brain lets you think."

"But how! How does the brain think?"

"People aren't sure about that."


<Later>

"What tells me when to cry?"

On Angels

Yaya (out of the blue): Mama, I think I remember what the angels looked like.

M: Really? How did they look?

Y: Hairy, but not really furry.

M: Like animals?

Y: No, not like animals. Like angels. They were beautiful. They had wings and hands and long hair.

M: Like people.

Y: No, not like people. Not long necks like people.

M: What color were they?

Y: The color of light.

M: Hmmm...what were they doing when you saw them?

Y: They were with God, watching over all the people who had just died and all the new children God was making.

M: What was that like when God was making children?

Y: Kind of like Build-A-Bear, but without the stuffing. No stuffing.

M: And then what did the children do?

Y: They were waiting for the angels to carry them to put them in their mama's tummies.

M: What did God look like?

Y: I can't remember...I don't know. But I like the angels.

[img]Kind of like Build-A-Bear, but without the stuffing. No stuffing. [/img]



Interesting exchange, though!

Yaya singing:

I say pajamas
You say pajahmahs
Why didn't you ever learn to talk?