Hecklers and good heckle lines

Welcome. I've heard some good ones over the years...I'll have to think of them.

Isn't it the audience that heckles?

The best heckling is based on what the bad comedian or "magician" is doing. The key to good heckling is to be funnier than who you are heckling.

"Well, we don't have to worry about this magician making BOREDOM disappear."

And the retort should be......
G rated... "I'll admit, I will never be able to make alcohol disappear as fast as you obviously can."
R rated ..."I have never had a problem with rabbits or boredom, its drunken a**** that seem to not want to dissappear."


Some other audience mutterings for magicians.

"Nothing up his sleeves. Nothing in his hat. Nothing seems to be his entire act."

"Oh, look honey. It's the same card trick our 3 year old did last night."

And if someone calls you a****** you answer. Ah yes, and you are passing through.

The late Rodney Dangerfield had a perfect retort for male hecklers: "Save your breath for your inflatable date!"

To the drunk who won't shut up...

"Hey, I thought you guy were supposed to be anonymous?"

good stuff

i always say to the drunk heckler

go stand by the wall mate, thats plastered as well