My boyfriend doesn't like to celbrate vday...

I don't think a specific day is all that important. It is good that you are happy with each other and feel romantic many times during the year. Make your own memories for great days and don't get too involved in following greeting card time.

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Just go ahead and show your love.

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Re: My boyfriend doesn't like to celbrate vday...

kcroxyoursox wrote:

its one of those things where he believes love should be celebrated every day and not on a designated day...

It's a cop out.

If his reasoning was valid, we wouldn't gather for family dinners, eat turkey & stuffing on Thanksgiving day because thanks for the bounty of this earth should be given every day. Or we wouldn't put up Christmas trees and sing Christmas carols or buy Christmas gifts in celebration of Christ's birth because that is something that should be celebrated every day. And on and on and on . . . .

Sure . . . love (just like everything else) can be "celebrated" every day, but Valentine's Day is special. It's a day we set aside each year to make the person we love feel special. Buying or making you a Valentine's Day card, and/or giving you a box of candy, or serving you breakfast in bed, or taking you out to dinner, or sending you flowers as a demonstration of his love is not that difficult. He just doesn't want to be bothered and he's feeding you a line of bull so that you won't be disappointed or hurt when he shirks his boyfriend duties on this special day. Oh well. He's only fooling himself. We know better.

I would be very hurt if my honey blew off Valentine's Day and expected me to accept a lame excuse: But honey, I love you every day.

YOU should still show him that you love him. Get him a nice Valentine's Day card and a big box of candy (or his favorite treat) and some cupid shorts.

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I agree completely with Debra. All the guys I've been involved with in my life (and that's quite a few) never did a damn thing special for me on V-Day and it made me feel like crap. I use to have a pen pal in NC that use to send me something on every occation, but my ex was jealous and asked me to tell him to stop, so stupid me does and there was nothing left to make me feel special.
It's the only day of the year where lovers can go out of their way to make the day extra special for their love and if that's too much to ask from them, it's a real shame.
This makes a person feel like they're not worth the little extra effort for one lousy day a year and I feel your pain.

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I've said I hate Valentines day. But I'm speaking as a single person. I hate people being fake and settling for any date just cause they don't want to feel lonely on that day.

People who are in couples is a little different. Guys should at least send flowers and that would be enough for almost any girls. It's probably a guarantee that you'll get laid also.

I think Jehova Witnesses' (sp) don't celebrate any thing including birthdays, chistmas, thanksgiving or anything else because they are suppost to live like that everyday. I

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Tenoch

I hear ya. Valentines Day is lonely for me as well :-(

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No reason for that, Montana. You are loved.

{{{smooch}}}

To me, Valentine's Day is about love, not necessarily romance. You have your wonderful son and your mother and all of us here on A2K. Many people have less love than that in their lives.

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During our first V-day together Mr B was congratulating himself on finding someone who didn't go in for all that V-day silliness. Boy was he surprised when I was upset that he had 'forgotten me'. He's never forgotten again and he makes it special because he wants me to feel special because I am special to him.

Tell your boyfriend it isn't about everyday, it's about Valentine's day and he should make you feel special because you are!

Oh, and go ahead and celebrate anyway.

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I think a lot of guys don't like V Day. But yeah, it's not hard to please the ladies -- a card, a rose -- you know, any of that makes me happy. These days, I just go ahead and make the dinner reservations myself though -- that part I like to just go ahead and do!

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I think the following is part of why men are nervous about this kind of thing:

Quote:

PIET GAUCHAT arrived at his new girlfriend's apartment on Valentine's Day a few years ago with box of chocolate candy and a card. Their first date had occurred only a few weeks earlier, and since he had just ended a serious relationship, Mr. Gauchat approached the holiday warily.

He figured candy was safe - a step up from the clip-on teddy bear he'd given to someone a few years back, yielding the complaint that he was "an emotional park bench." The idea was simply to keep the relationship in play, without moving it forward.

"I gave her mine first, feeling a bit sheepish," Mr. Gauchat, a 31-year-old software entrepreneur from Hoboken, recalled. "She then proceeded to pull out this nicely wrapped box, which had a blue cashmere sweater in it."

The clearly uneven rate of exchange, he said, "was an unmitigated disaster complete with tears, followed by breakup and nasty e-mails referring to my inability to 'validate her emotional needs.'"

Later the article says:

Quote:

Trying to anticipate the romantic expectations of someone you don't know that well may in fact be impossible, said Barbara DeAngelis, author of "What Women Want Men to Know" (Hyperion, 2001). "People don't realize until it's too late that each of us has a secret relationship rule book based on a combination of expectation, fantasies or even television," she said. "We come into a relationship not even realizing we have it, but we enforce it immediately."

The misunderstandings, the tears, the breakups, usually revolve around a single question. Is Valentine's Day important?

For some - mostly men - the answer is a definitive no. They tend to see Feb. 14 as "a day on the calendar that vendors promote to get into their wallet," said Michael Webb, author of "The RoMANtic's Guide: Hundreds of Creative Tips for a Lifetime of Love" (Hyperion, 2000).

Others, he said - often women - "believe that what happens on Feb. 14 will be an indication of how the rest of their relationship will play out for eternity."

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/13/fashion/weddings/13VDAY.html?

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Valentine's day is a social tradition associated with love, romance, and, often, expenditure. If following the tradition is important to either person in a couple, then it is worth working out your feelings on it between you.

In the long run, it is only a symbolic day; the love is there or it isn't.

I think it is hasty to say the fellow is giving kcrox a line of bull. Sure, he may be, but he well may not be.

I've had many happy valentine's days in my own life, but I don't insist everyone else follow that as a ritual.

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<nods>

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My late husband passed away on Feb 12 and we buried him on V-Day. For years, I just did not feel like explaining to people why I no longer cared to "celebrate". Perhaps your beaux has a previous encounter, as to why he does not want to do it. I am happy to say though now I am remarried and my husband is not a wine and roses kind of guy, but MEN should make some effort (if in a relationship they value) to do SOMETHING.

Many women want ALL the lovey dovey stuff and when the relationship is special but NOT LOVE. I expressed my desires to my man and this year he did better. Standard Candy and we had pictures made at a Studio (Even if it was Wal-Mart) He groaned a little, but I knew he did it for me and I'm happy with that.

Guys: It don't have to be all that, and you can see here in this THREAD most EXPECT something, it's better to do a little something than listen to ALL this the REST of the relationship. THINK

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My late husband passed away on Feb 12 and we buried him on V-Day. For years, I just did not feel like explaining to people why I no longer cared to "celebrate". Perhaps your beaux has a previous encounter, as to why he does not want to do it. I am happy to say though now I am remarried and my husband is not a wine and roses kind of guy, but MEN should make some effort (if in a relationship they value) to do SOMETHING.

Many women want ALL the lovey dovey stuff and when the relationship is special but NOT LOVE. I expressed my desires to my man and this year he did better. Standard Candy and we had pictures made at a Studio (Even if it was Wal-Mart) He groaned a little, but I knew he did it for me and I'm happy with that.

Guys: It don't have to be all that, and you can see here in this THREAD most EXPECT something, it's better to do a little something than listen to ALL this the REST of the relationship. THINK

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I'm on the flip side of this. My lad is much more into V-Day than I am. I'm the one that thinks having one special day is a cop-out. I'd rather have special treatment year-round (which he's pretty dang good at). V-Day plain annoys me.

It took a couple of years, but I don't growl anymore when he says something about V-Day.

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Why? What makes it so hard?

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Eva wrote:

No reason for that, Montana. You are loved.

{{{smooch}}}

To me, Valentine's Day is about love, not necessarily romance. You have your wonderful son and your mother and all of us here on A2K. Many people have less love than that in their lives.

You're so very sweet, Eva :-D

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Nothing hard about it, duce. I do not see any value in artificially constructed, commercially-based, plays for emotions and wallets.

I know the lad loves me every day. I don't need flowers, or chocolates, or cards, or any other silly frippery to tell me that. I wouldn't be the woman he loved if I did need that kind of 'special day' reassurance. He likes it - so he does get cards and cookies and chocolates, cuz that's who he is. I guess one of us has to be the romantic.

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I'm probably more in the middle -- I don't have an active dislike, if I were given chocolate or flowers I'd be like oh, cool, but I also don't have any particular need or expectation.

It's always been more of a familial holiday for me than romantic -- making valentines with my kid, the whole doily and pink and flowers part of it (all of which are things she loves.)

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My boyfriend doesn't like to celbrate vday...

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