Why does it still hurt?

things take time
Well it's not going to be easy to get over your first and really sucks to lose your best friend at the same time. If you guys were best friends before than you guys can probably become friends again it just might take longer than a few months. I mean, it took longer than two months to build the friendship you had, right? Than you can't expect to patch things up that quickly. Anyway, best of luck with this girl. :wink:

I don't believe in those little equations. Every person is different. Sometimes it takes me longer to get over a heartbreak than people think it should, but that's just me, and that's just that one situation. She was your best friend and your first real love all in one. Of course you're going to be upset about it! Take as long as you need to to heal.

My ex and I were dating for 3.5 years when we broke up. It took over a year for us to become friends again. But it IS possible. Just give it time. Things will get better for you, I swear!

The best piece of mind I can offer you for heartache is that you can only control 50% of any relationship. It sounds like you gave it your 50% and that is all anyone can do in life.

Be content at that, and best friends that are meant to be will happen .. best luck.

The loss of a loved one, whether through a breakup or death can be one of the most challenging experiences of a lifetime. The breakup of a relationship is not unlike that of a death, in that the grieving process is the same. No one can put a time limit on grief and those that tell you to just snap out of it are not worth listening to. To be sure that we are completely healing our heart, it is important to understand the basics of how the heart heals. Visualize a broken bone and consider how it heals. An emotional wound is abstract, but a broken bone is very tangible and concrete. Recognizing the various steps in healing a broken bone can help us in acknowledging and respecting the needs of a broken heart.

When a bone breaks, our body already contains the natural healing power to correct the problem. It hurts, but in time the pain goes away. As long as we don't interfere , the body heals itself automatically in a predicable time period. When this automatic healing process is allowed and nurtured, the bone will actually grow back stronger than before. In a similar way, if you are able to nurture the healing of a broken heart, it will also grow back stronger.. The pain and despair will pass and you will find love and joy again.

Basically, there are 3 essential steps to healing a broken heart. Step 1 is getting help, Step 2 is grieving and Step 3 is getting whole before getting involved again.

Getting help asks only that you share your pain and your feelings with others who know what you are going through. This is not only comforting but essential to the healing process.

Grieving the loss...like the broken bone, resetting it, it has the opportunity to grow back straight and strong. Likewise, with your heart, it must also be re-set to grow back straight and strong. Take the time to grieve the loss by remembering this person and what happened in the relationship. Remebering your past together brings up painful feelings but it also evokes the love you shared. Reexperiencing this love, helps you to heal. This loves soothes and heals the pain of loss.

Lasty, give yourself time. There are no timetables and no rules that set the course of healing. Let yourself become whole again and one day you may look back on this relationship with fond remeberance of the good times you had and the joy that that brought. Only you will know when the healing has begun and the healing is complete. It is then that you will be open to loving again.


Edited for too many gosh darn typos!