Question about cyber sex

Awww, honey...just call cyber sex what it is..."Mutual Masturbation".

Cyber sex is stupid......Just how do you type an Orgasm? With a lil ooooo or a BIG ONE..if its a Whopper?

On one hand, its no different then him getting off with a Hustler Mag, but on the other hand If I caught my husband with some women on the net and his privates in his hand, I'd be one pissed off women to deal with. So, Cheating? I don't know...I guess it depends on what you define cheating as. Some people have different standards on that issue. But if its causing you problems in your relationship, just come out and tell him. Some people don't get hints unless they are hit over the head with them.

Good luck!

well, I really do consider it cheating, someone else is getting him aroused, hes doing the same to the other person. I just don' t want to be the person who finishes what someone else started. It's just not right. I have a feeling that I have already with out knowing it. I just dont knwo what to do. I cant confront him about it because i found out by spying. I was in the wrong when doing it but I just had this horrible feeling that he was doing it when i came home one night after a night with some of my girlfriends from college and he was all happy but it wasnt cause i was home cause he barely said 2 words to me the whole night (this was like 9 hours worth of time) he just talked to those little hussys on yahoo pool. I dont know, I'm just stuck.
Oh that think about how do you spell an orgasm was pretty damn funny, it gave me a well needed laugh! thanks!

capsaddy, I've been in the chat rooms and trust me, there are some real doozies in there.

Cybersex has never turned me on, muchless the thought of it. I can understand where your coming from now...you spied and the guilt is there and you want to say something about it, but feel it'll just get turned around on you? I doubt I'll be much help here then. If it was me, I'd approach him...tell him..you need to talk to him. And be honest with what happened. That you didn't mean to spy, but your gut told you something wasn't right. That your not in agreement with the whole cybersex routine and how you feel about it...

Honesty is the only choice you have. How is it going to make you feel if he continues it and you never say anything? Can you deal with it?

He knows exactly how i feel, which is why im completely and utterly pissed off. I told him point blank that i hated it, he hasnt been in a chat room since (only 3 days) but he has the girls he talked to on his 2 new messengers (he just added them for the girls im sure) well one for sure but im almost positive about the other one. And I dont think i can confront him about it cause i know he'll blow up. I just hate the fact that he's hiding things from me. He even put a password on his computer so i cant get onto it ( i never gave him a reason to do that... i spied after he did that) he claimed that the computer put the password on there and that it changes itself every day (what a load of bullshit). I have a reason to be pissed dont you think?

Ohhh MYYY...umm, HELL YEAH..I'd be pissed off!

Thats why HE'S a BOYFRIEND...you can get rid of those........

I'd dare my husband to put a password on his part of the computer...that would be the first redlight that something wasn't right.

I still say comfront him...let him blow up. (unless he's violent) Why are you so worried about him being mad...your not in the wrong. Your not having cybersex or hiding anything....

Umm, are you on his computer now?

haha no, im on my own computer... hes about 2 feet away on his computer chatting w/ who knows who.

See, the thing is, is that i dont want to break up with him, he really is a great guy... when we're not near the computers

LOL...Well, I wish you good luck....

I tried Cybersex before, maybe three times in my whole life. This is how it basically went, if I remember right...



ME: So what do you look like? Do you have a big rack?

CYBERBABE: Oooh, yeah, it's...really...BIG. And my ass is nice and round. I have long blonde hair and sexy green eyes...what do you look like?

ME: Me? Well, have you ever seen Kramer from Seinfeld?

CYBERBABE: Huh?

ME: Yeah, I look exactly like Kramer, from Seinfeld. Oh, and instead of having two testicles, I only have one, but it's three or four times the size or a normal testicle.

CYBERBABE: Dude, you are like...scaring me.

ME: Mommy? Is that you?

Thats really funny
But when i did it it was a little different (i was single at the time and about 12 yrs old) and he did all the talking cause i didnt know what i was doing.

Yeah...I let some man think he talked me into it one time...this is the way it went for me...


Cyberstud: Hey Babbby, interested in a lil play?

ME: NOPE

Cyberstud: (Babbling about getting some action)

ME: ROTFLMFAO

Cyberstud: (Starts his dirty talk)

ME: Hummm.....Ummmm, interesting

Cyberstud: And I touch you here....stroke you there...and so on...

And about half way through the middle of it, he's getting really really excited...and I ask..lol

Me: Ummm, how do I type an orgasm? Is a lil ooooooo, or if I'm screaming your name is it a Big OOOOOOO

Cyberstud: your really not into this are you?

Me: What was your first clue sherlock?

Lol with his luck it's a big ol guy. Ok I'm not a comp wiz so umm how an the comp change the password everyday woudl't he not know how to get into it then? There must be some thing that he types in to get in himself so why doesn't he just tell you. I would bother me as well if my husband was having cybersex with some chick and added her to a messenger. That is making her a regualr and that would bother me. now if it was just random I don't know that that would bug me as much as it is just like some one said no more different than him looking at nude mags and getting off. Putting them as regulars would make me think they were some one he wanted to get to know better. Then adding a pasword ooh no no no that would be a topper.
I bet he would change his tune if you put a password on yours. give him some of his own meds act like you are talking to a guy online and maybe let a sound slip lik mm mm mm lol what his dog ears perk hehe. K well good luck

Cybersex is fine if you do it with someone you're already close to. Not some random teenagers hooking up in Yahoo chat, ugh, disgusting.

The funny thing is he has no clue if the ' girl' is really a girl. It could be a gay pedophile who plays a teenage girl to watch young men get off.. heheheheheh
THAT is the funnny part.
The not so funny part is that you are bothered by his actions.
Nimh told me one time when I was worried about this type of problem that you cant control what someone things. No matter what it is.
Meaning.. you can not control or ask him to control who/what/where is on his mind. If he is thinking about what he was typing to some fat old man in speedos who he THOUGHT was a girl a few mintues before he kissed you , sorry, you can not control that.
To want to control that is a big problem also.
Realize, he is a human, he has thoughts, needs , ideas that do not always involve you.He has had a diffrent life, diffrent experiences and the end result ( the person he is ) is who he is. You didnt create him. You cant change him. He is a diffrent person and that is why you love him.
Having said that, if you consider it cheating think about it this way.....
Would you sit outside the bedroom door while he was screwing someone else?
UH NO.
You would speak up.
So turn off your computer and speak up.

Having to admit that you were sneaking around in his private computer is another subject. If you claim to be trust worthy, why are you doing that? Suspicion? Well, if you let your suspicions invade his computer, in his mind you will invade everything else. So be careful how you handle this one.
If you can not trust him and have to sneak around in his things just to make sure he isnt cheating.. when will it stop? If heis that secretive with you then there is a problem ANYWAYS.
Turn off the computer.
Go talk.

Another quick point...
if he DID only think about you , sexually, daily, 24-7, that would be scary. He would have no life , no interests outside of you.
Most people would call that an abusive stalker.
Be GLAD he isnt obsessed with you. He loves you yes, but not obsessed.

Capsaddy
You and I think alike on the subject and if it was my boyfriend, he would soon be my ex boyfriend. I think that **** is nasty and very disrespectful to the person your with. I just couldn't be with a guy who held such little regard for me, but that's just me.

Everyone has a different opinion on the issue and mine just happens to match yours.


P.S. Whenever a guy tries to cybersex with me, I just start laughing. What a joke, lol!

I can understand cyber sex as some kind of fetish some guys have. But why cyber with a stranger (who might not always be who you think) when you can do the real thing with a willing partner?

Cybersex has to be THE stupidest thing ever. A bunch of 16 year old boys masturbating with a bunch of 50 year old men.

I say, let him knock himself out.

Hey, if you're on two different computers, why don't you do it with him? At least he knows it's a chick on the other line.

Ha, I thought about that too... Do you know his chat name? Maybe you could pm him and surprise him with a lil nasty play and see what he makes of it?

Anybody ever check out http://www.pervertedjustice.com/ Shows your never know who you might be talking too..lol