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Confused about a close friend

 
 
Reply Mon 5 Mar, 2018 09:16 am
Sorry this might be a bit of a long story but I could really do with some advice. (Also sorry about bad grammar I’m a maths student).

Just a bit of background, I’m currently at university and at the beginning of the year a girl came back off her year abroad and re-joined our friendship group (I hadn’t previously met her before.) Anyway, over the past 2 terms we've become extremely close, we’ve helped each other through some hard times and I would trust her with anything, which is strange for me as I dont tend to connect with people so quickly.

We made out once in September and once about a month ago, both occasions were kind of laughed of and not really spoken of. I’m openly bisexual and so is she but is a lot more reserved about it to the point that my other friends and I think she may even struggling with her sexuality, something she does tend to avoid talking about.

Here’s my problem, I honestly cant get this girl out of my head, she send me weird mixed signals, we talk constantly, she gravitates towards me on nights out, tries to hold my hand, weve shared a bed a bunch of times despite me only living 5 minutes away(no funny business), but then gets awkward when were left alone together drunk and often goes a bit weird when my previous hookups are brought up in conversation. I’m at the point where I dont know how I feel and I kind of want closure.

The other night my I got a bit drunk and upset and told one of my other friends how I felt about this girl. She told me that she always thought there was a ‘more than friends’ atmosphere between the two of us but didnt want to say anything. This has obviously got me thinking even more and I do need something to change here but I’m not sure how. She’s such an integral part of my support system I’m terrified of losing her, maybe even more so than my wanting to be with her.

I have thought about maybe talking to her housemate to see if shes noticed/said anything, but im not sure if thatll just be a waste of time and I should just go straight out and talk to the girl first.

On a slight side note, I know if shes struggling with her sexuality this type of thing could really scare her which I also want to be really careful about.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks for reading. Smile

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neptuneblue
 
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Reply Mon 5 Mar, 2018 11:59 am
@Shurlcok,
Take three deep breaths. Ok, relaxed now? Ask her out on a date. A real date, like coming to pick her up for a nice dinner and an activity after that.

Maybe it's just my personality, but I tend to go after what I want. Nothing is going to just land on my lap if I refuse to acknowledge what I want. And then ask for it. Maybe society has taught women to be on the sidelines, not taking chances, risking rejection. My thought process is, screw it, I'd be asking her out.

I don't care what your sexual orientation is. It''s irrelevant. You need to find courage. It's not any different for anybody to ask someone out. Just do it.

Three deep breathes. Then pick up the phone and ask her out on a date.
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