He Walked Out, I am Dying - He was Molesting my Child

Oh God. That is so awful, but it probably explains a lot. I am so sorry for you and for your daughter. Thank God he left.

Oh my God, a mother's worst nightmare is unfolding
here. Why didn't she come to you sooner? I hope this
bastard gets what he deserves.

Your poor little girl needs to get into counseling fast,
and she needs reassurance that this pig won't be able
to do anything to her again.

I am so sorry for the pain he inflicted onto you and your
daughter.

It makes me angry to think what he did to your precious
little girl. What a useless SOB he is.

He told her not to tell or else. She was afraid and ashamed. He moved back to Rochester with his family, where his 10 year old niece also lives most of the time. CYS was not going to do anything to protect that little girl until the police called them and told them this is the real thing - an allegation - but this kid is telling the truth. Do they get jail time for something like this?

I'd imagine. I'm so sorry, Karen. Every mother's worst nightmare indeed.

I am so sorry...this is horrible.

Thank god he left when he did.

What makes a man do this to a child? Sickness. That's what. My thoughts are with you.

Hugs-> (((( KarenMattys ))))

He most certainly will go to prison, rightfully so. Please tell the police
that he's living with another child in his family, so they can intercept
as soon as possible. We don't want another girl to suffer like this.

I'd prefer more than jail time for people like this.

No kidding.

Prosecute him to the full extent of the law, Karen. Make it as hard as possible for him to ever do this to anyone else's child.

And call a counselor for your daughter immediately. That's REALLY important.

And I thought I disliked this guy BEFORE! Is he available so I can CHOKE HIM????

This makes me so angry! Grrrrr.....

I was abused as a child by my own parents (sexually, too), so maybe I'm a little weird about it, but there are few things that anger me more than to hear about this.

Get angry, Karen. Be the avenging goddess of all mothers & make him wish he'd never met you or your child. Strike him with lightning & thunder, make him shiver & shake for fear of your goddess self!

And get the poor little bunny girl into counselling ASAP. Cherish her, reassure her that she's safe....she needs it now more than ever.

Please keep posting here, we care about what happens to you & your child.

In the meantime, big hugs to you both....((((Karen)))) ((((Daughter))))

If he ends up in prison he's in real trouble. Prisoners who tolerate murderers and robbers, will do nasty things to a child molester. Believe me when I say this man will be hurt . Shifting focus in fact your daughter did tell you when she felt sure she was safe from him. There was no evidence that could have made you aware of what went on. I fall back on an old axiom for myself when I was a teenager and it helped me a lot. If all around you people are beating you up, don't join them. Remember you're your own best friend. Like yourself first. Don't just think it. Say it out loud looking in a mirror. You'll believe it even more. Treasure your kids. They'll look to you even more for guidance now. Be strong. You're their hope. I give you heartfelt praise for having a daughter who could tell you rather than bury it inside her. I wish you luck and peace in the times to come.

Do I understand that there is a custody hearing approaching? is this between you and the childs father, who is a different man than the one that molested?

right on boris kitten

If anybody molested somebody i loved, there would be hell to pay. I don't know if i'd be able to control myself from pummeling them into the ground.

Make sure he gets on a sex offender list. In Cali we have this - http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/
It tells you addresses, what they went to prison for and even a picture in some cases.

Karen--

Your daughter's childhood was violated by a man you loved and trusted. Your rage is justified.

Please help your daughter express her rage. She hasn't been ruined forever but because current mores on sex are so confusing, she may feel that your Ex's ignoble actions make her dirty and unacceptable.

Give great emphasis to her courageous behavior in agreeing to press charges so that other young girls will be protected. She's not a victim, she's an avenger.

As for the custody hearing.... Complete strangers are raging about your daughter's experience. Her father has every right to be equally annoyed.

Can you talk with him--and then to him with your daughter--to decide what is the best solution for your daughter?

Right now it is very important for your daughter to feel that she can control her destiny.

Good luck. You'll be in my thoughts.

I can't believe both your daughter and you have to go through this... But also, as someone who has been in this situation, be carefull not to let your daughter drift away from love in the future... She may feel she can never trust a man again, and you should help her see that there are good men and women out there...I will pray for both you and your daughter! Good luck

I was right where your daughter is now at 11 years old.
And this is how the legal stuff went :

My mom met this man when i was 6. He started the molestation immediatly. It wasnt until I was 11 I said something. My mom threw him out of the house 5 seconds later and called the cops. Since it was an allegation, they simply held him in jail for 3 days so that I could make a statement to the police dept with out him having the ability to flee.
a year and a half later ( he is walking free that time ) we went to court. It turned out , of course , that it was his word against mine. His won. And his won on the grounds that there was no physical evidence of any kind of abuse. Even though he was doing more then touching. ( no details needed there I hope.. ) He got off and was able to turn around and file for custody of my brother ( his son ) .

IF there is ANY way you can get your little girl to the doctor in hopes of any physical evidence.. do it. NOW. It is a horrible thing for her to go through, and even worse for her to have to have a doctor check her out. But , if it will hang this son of a bi.tch by his nuts in court then it is worth it.
My experience was almost 20 years ago. Laws have since changed. But , physical evidence on your side is a wonderful thing. Do it if you can .
I am sorry this is happening to you and I hope all the best to you and espically your little girl. Getting her into counceling asap is the best thing you can do.

Dam. Stories like the ones i hear sometimes are the kind that make you want to take the law into your own hands.

I would like to see everything C-Jane capitailzed and hightlighted! What a tragedy this is for a young girl.

My family went through this with my little sister and her step-father. Ten years later even with counseling and LOTS OF HUGS AND TISSUES, from time to time these incidents come to the surface for her and we need to be there to listen. Don't misunderstand I am not saying that she will never get past the pain and confusion she feels. What I am getting at is no matter what or how long - even and espescially outside of counseling never leave her corner even when she pushes you away.

I too am so sorry for the pain your family is going through.

LOVE HER ALL DAY EVERY DAY and she will heal little hug by little hug. I promise.

Um- two more cents...... Hugs to you too mom.