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Is it wrong to get mad over this?

 
 
Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 12:53 pm
Is it wrong of me to be very angry about this. Ok... well there is the big guy down from corporate today, he orders everyone in my deptartment lunch (there are only 5 of us)... he talks about it right in front of me but doesn't even ask me if I would like to order.. (he tells me I am part of the team and then goes and orders lucnh for the "team", but not me).. then he goes and gets the food, walks right past me....

This is the second time he has done it....

SHOULD I BE MAD????????????
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 2,127 • Replies: 23
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Dartagnan
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 12:55 pm
Yes. He's either totally insensitive or trying to make you feel bad...
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Crazielady420
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 12:57 pm
ok, thank god, I thought I was just getting mad over nothing... but should I say something?
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FreeDuck
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 12:58 pm
I would pipe up when he's talking about ordering and say, can I put my order in? Or something of that nature. Pretending you don't notice the slight, but at the same time asserting that you believe yourself to be part of the team forces him to either realize that he has left you out, or to express his reasons for doing so.
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Phoenix32890
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 12:59 pm
I dunno. Once could be an oversight, but twice?Is it possible that he is sending you a message? Does he have any authority over you?
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FreeDuck
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 01:01 pm
Also, better to speak up sooner than later. He could just be a creature of habit. Speaking up after he's done this several times means he doesn't have the opportunity to save face by calling it an oversight.
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Crazielady420
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 02:23 pm
But I am a little scared to say something.... I don't know why.. but they make me feel as though I am not as important as everyone else... my job makes me feel like i am nothing, nobody.... It affects me before , during, and after work....
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 03:29 pm
Is there anyone else in the team you can talk to about this? Find out if he's always rude/clueless/whatever - is he like this with junior members of the group ?

Are you actually a part of the work team? Do you go to regular meetings with them? What's the dynamic on that?
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Bella Dea
 
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Reply Wed 2 Feb, 2005 04:08 pm
I would be pissed. Even if he doesn't like you, he's being rude. If he is getting lunch for his friends, he could ask them via email, over the phone, away from you. What a jerk.

I'd casually say "I don't think you got my order yet." after everyone else has ordered and wait to see his response.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 06:57 am
Thank you everyone, it helps to know that I am not taking this overboard.... I think I will say something today when and if they order lunch again!!!
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squinney
 
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Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 07:09 am
What s your poition? Are you the receptionist for the team and not in on meetings, planning, etc? Or, are you actually a direct contributing part of the team as in helping with the creativity, sales, or whatever?

He may see you as part of the team if you are the receptionist just for this team and other teams have their own receptionist, but not consider you part of the team when it comes to getting lunch to be eaten while the team meets. Does that make sense?

Either way it is rude. I am self-employed, but even in my days of having bosses, district managers and regional managers none of them would have treated me or any other employee this way.

My least sensitive boss, a lawyer, never offered to take us paralegals to lunch without also including his secretary and the lady that did copy / filing.
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Crazielady420
 
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Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 07:12 am
I am the coordinator for the team, and my old boss always included me and said I was a big part of the team... I basically help hold it all together, and honestly If i walked out today, they would all be crying
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 08:17 am
Then say something. Assert yourself, but do it nicely. Smile. Don't let them know it gets to you.

When they start talking about lunch orders, just step up and say, "I'll have the ________." Act as if they already asked you.
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squinney
 
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Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 01:04 pm
At this point, I can see where that would be awkward since it has already happened a couple of times without anything being said. However, i agree. Speak up next time and place your order.

As Bear would say... "Or what?"

What's the worst thing that will happen? How likely is it that the worst thing that could happen will happen? And, what's the best thing that could happen?

Picture the results of each question above.

See. Speaking up and placing your order is really your only choice. Just be cool about it, as if it never crossed your mind you wouldn't be included and it won't cross theirs either.
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Eva
 
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Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 03:33 pm
Exactly.
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Region Philbis
 
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Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2005 03:53 pm
have u spoken to the other 4 people in your group about the slights?
maybe one of them could say something the next time it happens...
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Crazielady420
 
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Reply Fri 4 Feb, 2005 06:50 am
Region Philbis wrote:
have u spoken to the other 4 people in your group about the slights?
maybe one of them could say something the next time it happens...
See the thing is, I have, but since they are older then me, they seem to be in there own world and too busy to acknowledge my existence, unless they need a favor that is!! When you work in the corporate world, the little people get stepped on, well I get squashed every day!
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Reyn
 
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Reply Fri 4 Feb, 2005 08:29 am
.....and let us know what happens! :wink:
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Dravenfall
 
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Reply Mon 7 Feb, 2005 12:41 pm
I know exactly how you feel about not feeling "in". Where I work I am the youngest there and no one really is interesting in anything that I am. (I'm the youngest by about 10 years!). Also, being in the military while nearly everyone else is not...I tend to feel a little left out of the loop from time to time.

I would definatly hold your ground and say something, but keep it subtle. I agree with the person who said to add in your order as well. You are a part of the team and you deserve to be treated as such.
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Crazielady420
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Apr, 2005 11:17 am
My boss from Corporate came done again today and this time asked me if I wanted anything for lunch, I said yes and gave my order... They never included me in the ordering process and now I didn't get any food... Should I be angry now?
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