Quote:1. "Who says money doesn't grow on trees?" The investment club president told the would-be investors, "I guarantee to triple your investment in one month."
I believe this is a more traditional and perhaps more correct way of writing it (correct me if I'm wrong about the comma after the question mark).
"Who says money doesn't grow on trees?," the investment club president told the would-be investors. "I guarantee to triple your investment in one month."
2. Good
3. Good
Quote:4. Like most shoplifters, Bill believed he wouldn't be caught. Since the fish will soon be caught that nibbles at every bite, he was caught red-handed shoplifting a pack of cigarettes last Friday.
This is awkward. I think it should be re-worded. Try:
Like most shoplifters, Bill never thought he'd be caught. But like the fish who nibbles at every bait, he soon was. It happpened last friday, with a pack of cigarettes.