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Mon 31 Jan, 2005 05:53 pm
Please someone tell me that it is the mother's right to not allow a husband to take their son whom he has absolutely done nothing in regards to feeding him, changing him, bathing him etc. for 8 months since he has been born that the husband can take the baby away and out of the house for more then a couple of days without the mother, while they discuss divorce. I know the court decides on whom the child is given custody however it's the before hand that I'm scared of. My husband seems to think (even though he is gone 4 days out of 7) that he can just take the baby and that I have no right to tell him otherwise.
Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time in regards to your family. I wish you the best, and suggest you talk to a lawyer ... somehow the law transcends all rights these days.
Yes, I would suggest the same: consult with a good
attorney who is experienced in family law.
Until then, do not leave your son with his father.
I agree with the others. Sadly, as far as the law is concerned, there are as many bad mothers as there are bad fathers, so I doubt you'll get any rights he doesn't have without a judge involved.
Re: Mother's right to say NO
veryconfused wrote:Please someone tell me that it is the mother's right to not allow a husband to take their son...
You've been fooled by to much ultra-feminist propaganda.
Provided he is the recognized legal father of the child and there is no court order directing otherwise, he has rights that are 100% equeal to your's in matters relating to the child. The mother has no inherent rights that automatically supercede the father's rights in this regard.
Go talk to your lawyer and get a seperation agreement drawn up. You can detail responsibilities toward the child in that while you both decide what to do with your marriage.
veryconfused- I agree with fishin' that legally, you both have the same rights, with regards to your child. As a practical matter though, if you two are contemplating divorce, I would not let your husband take the child away from you.
This is a man who has had little involvement with the raising of your son. All of a sudden he wants to be with him, alone. I don't want to sound paranoid, but it seems to me that this man has another agenda. He may want to "kidnap" your son, so as to gain leverage in the divorce agreement. He cannot be tried for "kidnapping", because you don't have sole custody.
Go to an attorney, immediately, if not sooner, and have a separation agreement drawn up.
Welcome, veryconfused! There are lots of caring people here, and I hope you find some help.
It sounds like this is a really bad time for you. I think there are a lot more issues here than him just taking the baby.
Can you tell us more about your situation?
Are you sure he can't be tried for kidnapping, phoenix?
Just wondering. I don't know the law that well but it seems like he could be, despite her not having sole custody.
I really don't know for sure, but I would not even want veryconfused to even be put in that position. Forewarned is forearmed!
I think four days is a long time for an 8 month old baby to go without seeing it's main caretaker.
I'm divorced and I have a ten year old daughter. What my X and I try to do is work things out on our own.
Lawyers can get SO expensive, and the court system isn't always right and reasonable, or timely.
How about trying a therapist/mediator that deals with divorce, that way instead of you 2 paying, your insurance company can foot the bill (if you have insurance.)
Mediators are so helpful, especially during stressful events, like divorce.
Just tell the babies dad the 2 of you will end up spending lots of $ if you end up in court.
Mean while, if he wants to see the baby, can he visit everyother day at your place, or just take the baby for a couple hours here and there?
Here's a question among the lines of "a womans right." If a woman is gets pregnant and is not married, should she be required to tell the father of baby that he is going to be a father(given she's not getting an abortion)? Or is it a womans right to keep a child secret from his father.
almach1 wrote:Here's a question among the lines of "a womans right." If a woman is gets pregnant and is not married, should she be required to tell the father of baby that he is going to be a father(given she's not getting an abortion)? Or is it a womans right to keep a child secret from his father.
almach1, that sounds like a great topic for a brand new thread.
from my experience in juvenile law (states may vary) as long as the mother-to-be does not ask for anything (ie support) nor apply for any form of public assistance she is not under any obligation to notify anyone. (birth cert should not show father's name)
dyslexia wrote:from my experience in juvenile law (states may vary) as long as the mother-to-be does not ask for anything (ie support) nor apply for any form of public assistance she is not under any obligation to notify anyone. (birth cert should not show father's name)
That hella sucks. Wouldn't the kid want to know whos his/her father is one day. That's the kind of stuff i have only seen in movies. And if I found out like 18 years later that I had a kid, i'd be really pissed at the mother.
almach1 wrote:dyslexia wrote:from my experience in juvenile law (states may vary) as long as the mother-to-be does not ask for anything (ie support) nor apply for any form of public assistance she is not under any obligation to notify anyone. (birth cert should not show father's name)
That hella sucks. Wouldn't the kid want to know whos his/her father is one day. That's the kind of stuff i have only seen in movies. And if I found out like 18 years later that I had a kid, i'd be really pissed at the mother.
In most cases, a mother would not mention anything to the father for good reason. Maybe the man was an abuser. Since the mother would be giving up 19 or more years of child support, it wouldn't be in her best interest not to have the father known, unless there was a good reason.
Now back to the topic at hand. Veryconfused, are you worried about your childs safety in his fathers care?
As others said, contact a family lawyer ASAP and find out what the laws consist of.
Montana wrote:almach1 wrote:dyslexia wrote:from my experience in juvenile law (states may vary) as long as the mother-to-be does not ask for anything (ie support) nor apply for any form of public assistance she is not under any obligation to notify anyone. (birth cert should not show father's name)
That hella sucks. Wouldn't the kid want to know whos his/her father is one day. That's the kind of stuff i have only seen in movies. And if I found out like 18 years later that I had a kid, i'd be really pissed at the mother.
In most cases, a mother would not mention anything to the father for good reason. Maybe the man was an abuser. Since the mother would be giving up 19 or more years of child support, it wouldn't be in her best interest not to have the father known, unless there was a good reason.
Yea I know. I was just saying, "What if" it happend the way i said. I even said that's the kind of stuff you only see in movies. Totally hypothetical.
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