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Sat 29 Jan, 2005 09:37 am
i need advice on this one...
i honeslty am not attracted to my bf anymore, since we met he hasnt been the same guy i met 4 yrs ago. he doesnt work out anymore, hes not motivated to do anything anymore. so this is what i feel this way.
so maybe you guys can help me out in this situation, because i am confused on how to go about this whole situation.
here is a conversation that me and one of my close friends had about this. tell me what you think i should do.
thanks so much
ODontUwish: im having a dilemma
APHAT911: ?
ODontUwish: i sorta like my bf friend
ODontUwish: no
ODontUwish: but listen to this
ODontUwish: like we talk and are friends too so i dont know we were in daytona at his house chillin
ODontUwish: and my bf said jokingly said.. what . you wanna take my girl from me?
ODontUwish: so he had quite a few shots and then we went to japanese and drank sake.
ODontUwish: so after we start to head home to miami and we stop at a rest stop and as we were both walking back into the car he pulls me to the side and says, im gonna take you from him
ODontUwish: so we get to my house and we sat outside and i said to him.
ODontUwish: so your gonna take my from him? and he really didnt say anything except like well, yeah , well i cant, he'll commit suicide,
ODontUwish: but like he totally changed the way he made it sound like he like so to say but then again after i said that he was like you and him work it out, blah blah blah
ODontUwish: i was like OH....
ODontUwish: but do you think he knows i sorta like him?
APHAT911: i think...maybe he wants u to break up with your bf first
ODontUwish: if that was you what would that mean like
ODontUwish: should i tell him straight out that i like him
ODontUwish: i feel like an idiot now for even bringing it up
APHAT911: i think u should wait until late one night
ODontUwish: i even said i knew you just said that cuz you are drunk
APHAT911: and call him up
APHAT911: and give him your sexiest kinkiest voice
ODontUwish: seriouly
ODontUwish: seriously
APHAT911: see if he would drive to miami for u that same night
ODontUwish: he lives here also
APHAT911: oh...even easier
ODontUwish: we just left his apt in hallandale
APHAT911: just make sure he doesnt wanna hit it once and thats it
APHAT911: because it might not be worth loosing your bf over
ODontUwish: yeah well he is a relly big player
ODontUwish: but he keeps throwing hints to me that he wants a gf
APHAT911: i would forget abouthim..
APHAT911: stay with someone that takes care of u
APHAT911: if u just want a piece of him
APHAT911: then call him up
APHAT911: and tell him u are horny
ODontUwish: maybe thats all i want
ODontUwish: no
ODontUwish: i wont say that
APHAT911: tell him to bring some condoms over
ODontUwish: i dont know
ODontUwish: if i said that to him
ODontUwish: would you think after that i liked him?
APHAT911: i think so
ODontUwish: so i got rejected basically
APHAT911: i am not saying after that he will be yours
APHAT911: u wont get rejected
APHAT911: call him up
APHAT911: see if hes busy
APHAT911: tell him to stop at the pharmacy and get some condoms...and come pick you up
ODontUwish: nah forget it
APHAT911: get your toy out and think about him....
ODontUwish: he is everything i like but the player part
ODontUwish: but maybe he is like that because he hasnt found someone yet
ODontUwish: he said he got to the way he is because he used to be married to this girl and she did fucked up **** to him so i guess that made him into what he is now
ODontUwish: I DONT FRIGGIN KNOW
APHAT911: i dont know
ODontUwish: should i say something?
APHAT911: i know if u called me up and said to bring condoms i would be there in about 2 min.....from brazil...lol
ODontUwish: like........ dont you know i like you
APHAT911: i think u need to decide if ulike him.. or your bf first
ODontUwish: honeslty i dont think i love my bf anymore
ODontUwish: i really felt like UHHHHH.... after i said it to him and he said what he said back at me, and i wasnt expecting that answer
ODontUwish: and like this guy would call escorts and **** like that to have company
ODontUwish: so you know how i feel now after i basically told him in a nut shell that i want you to take me from him
APHAT911: i dont think he is going to want to disturb you and your bf
APHAT911: i think he is waiting for something to happen
ODontUwish: he told me because he knows that i really dont want to be with my bf that he would help me get away from him if i want
ODontUwish: so im like so confused
ODontUwish: what is we waiting for ?
APHAT911: maybe u
ODontUwish: i hate this
APHAT911: anyway... a phone call late at night should do
APHAT911: even without making a condom order
ODontUwish: ill probably will see him later today
APHAT911: if u call late at night..he will know u are thinking about him
ODontUwish: but what do i say
ODontUwish: i never call him
APHAT911: thats y he will know u want him
APHAT911: cause u are calling
APHAT911: call and ask him whats up
APHAT911: tell him u want to see him or smoke with him or something
APHAT911: when he comes over be wearing something like xtra small
APHAT911: so he cant control himself
ODontUwish: i want to say to him. one minute you are helping me figure out how im going to leave him and the next minute your drunk you tell me your taking me away from him, then i say something to you about it and you give me an answer like he loves you work it out?
ODontUwish: yeah i guess
ODontUwish: ill see
APHAT911: that would sound like u are complaining before u are in a relationship
ODontUwish: so i should shut up
ODontUwish: not tell him i like him or anything
APHAT911: i wouldnt say anything...i would let your body say it
ODontUwish: how
APHAT911: all u have to do is wear something really sexy when it is just him around
APHAT911: he will know u are showing it off for him
ODontUwish: all i have sexy is my tank tops
ODontUwish: that i wear
ODontUwish: honeslty i really feel liike he isnt attracted to me
APHAT911: then wear one of those with the smallest shorts or boxers or underwear u can get away with
APHAT911: dont lie to yourself
APHAT911: u know every man is attracted to u
APHAT911: u are an angel michelle
ODontUwish: i swear he made me feel this way
ODontUwish: he calls escorts to get laid, and on top of it here i am basically telling him ok TAKE ME.
APHAT911: if he doesnt take the opportunity.....he is a jack ass
APHAT911: i would give him the opportunity
APHAT911: one time....go all out and wear almost nothing
APHAT911: even get on top of him a bit and show him u are interested in him
ODontUwish: i never do that so how do i do that
APHAT911: if he doesnt get hard with u on top of him...then he is not interested
ODontUwish: i guess im not a sexual girl
ODontUwish: i guess girls do do this stuff
APHAT911: michelle.... u now how to get on top of a guy
APHAT911: i dont need to tell u that
ODontUwish: but i just dont do that
APHAT911: hmmm
APHAT91: i dont know what to tell u
ODontUwish: problems
APHAT91: i wouldnt doo too much until u ended with your bf
ODontUwish: yeah
APHAT91: u will end up being your bfs friends booty call
APHAT91: and not enjoying your boyfriend
love triangle
NO CHEATING:
You're already in a relationship. How would you want your boyfriend to treat YOU if the situation was reversed? Don't cheat. You wouldn't want him to cheat on you -- don't cheat on him.
THE INJURY:
You should respect your boyfriend enough to end your relationship with him BEFORE you even consider jumping into the arms of another man. Break-ups HURT, but eventually people get over their injured feelings and move on.
THE INSULT:
You should respect your boyfriend enough to avoid a LOVE-Triangle situation. It would be insulting to your boyfriend to break up with him so you can be with his friend. If you do break up with your boyfriend, allow yourself and him plenty of time and space to deal with the break up. If you add insult to injury, the situation will be devastating for everyone involved.
I guess you are right
i guess i will wait to see what i will do then
if i break up with him i break up with him
but i do like his friend. we are so alike. in so many ways.
I think you should offer to do a threesome with boyfriend and friend...that'll spice things back up and repair your relationship...this is a well known dynamic and always produces positive results.....
Re: love triangle
Debra_Law wrote:NO CHEATING.
Agree whole-heartedly! If this guy is really interested, he can wait until you leave your bf.
In the meantime, I'd be wary of any man who calls escort services. Just my 2 cents.
If you are not attracted to your bf, don't like your bf, and could easily date and care for someone else... Why are you still dating him?
DO NOT date someone just because "someone else" hasn't come along clearly. DO NOT date someone just because you don't want to do the act of 'breaking up'. DO NOT date him just because you want to stay in a good relationship, despite not having -love- for him anymore.
It's cruel, and it's a very selfish thing to do.
If you don't love him anymore, end it now. Don't waste his time. He's not an object to "enjoy", he's a person that needs to be respected and loved. If you can't do those things, don't keep him.
Be sure you're off with the old love,
Before you're on with the new.
"Unfaithful", "two-timing"--ugly words for ugly actions.
"If you can't be with the one you love...love the one you're with" pearls of wisdom...
Maybe you just want to have sex with him and see what happens. First thing you have todo is to break up because you're not into your bf any more. That's obvious. Then give him a call and see what happens. Get laid, have some fun and see if you continue to like him and what's his reaction
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