Did you see Dr. Phil today?

Interesting, Whooda.

Mr. B and I also decided not to have kids.

I watched so many of my friends marry young and start having kids. Some did great, some not so great, all said how it was so much harder than they expected.

We aren't martyrs either. This was a kind of ultimate unplanned pregnancy! But, when we accepted responsiblity for Mo we did just exactly that - accepted responsibility. We already loved him so it wasn't hard.

It really drives me nuts that people can make such a huge decision like having a kid without considering the actual physical fact of the kid.

I saw this....it was the saddest thing I've ever seen! This poor kid couldn't understand why his parents were sending him away!!

This is just why people don't want to adopt kids from America. It's safe to adopt from China because you know that no one is coming after those kids.

It's not right and I think that once you put your kid up for adoption, you lose all rights. Period. Those babies don't know anyone other than who adopted and raised them. They don't understand 'biological", nor do they care. All they know is that the people who were suppose to love them and protect them are making them go away and it isn't fair!

Adoptive parents should be given all rights to their adopted children. Biological parents should retain NONE.

This really chaps my ass......these self-serving a**holes who don't give a damn about the child and only want them back when it's convenient.....ooooo, this is a really bad topic for me....makes me incredibly angry.

I saw that episode, too. I don't like Dr. Phil's show at all, but adoption stories always catch my attention. It really cheesed me off how much weight the courts seemed to give biological parents, who had no hand in raising the child before. I felt awful for those poor children who were caught in the middle, and for the adoptive parents as well.

I'll admit that my wanting to adopt internationally is partly because of this. I don't want to deal with the possibility that birth parents will come back and cause trouble. I know the chances are small, but I don't like the possibility being there. What if we overlook something in the paperwork? I already know one couple who decided to adopt from Korea because of problems with birth parents with domestic adoption.

I really had no idea that these kind of problems is what drove international adoptions. I can certainly see why people might chose that route.

I know that there are a whole lot of kids being raised by people other than their natural parents, with no formal custody arrangments.

Because there is no custody, I suppose there is no way to really know how many kids are affected by this. It would be interesting to know.

One of the young women I work with was raised by an aunt and uncle who she calls mom and dad. She was always aware of a mom but not in the sense of a mother. In a way, her situation is not too different from Mo's. She has very strong bonds with the mom and dad who raised her.

This offers me a breath of relief.

And welcome to A2K, Krysia! Thanks for joing in the conversation.