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Funeral and lovers

 
 
ryunin
 
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 05:37 pm
At their father's funeral, at which numerous lovers of the dead took part, Jana and Anna learn about ...

At their father's funeral, with numerous lovers of his taking part, Jana...

Which do you think sounds better or correct? Or is there another or a better way how to write it?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 644 • Replies: 6
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 06:17 pm
The first one sounds like it is about people who love dead people.

The second one sounds like it is about a man who had many sexual partners.

Do you mean that many people who loved him took part in his funeral?

Tell me what Jana and Anna learned and I might be able to help!
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ryunin
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 06:47 pm
OK, this seems like the most difficult sentence of the whole translation

so the point is the guy who had a heart attack and now it is his funeral, had a lot of lovers, like sexual partners

and these sexual partners came to his funeral, the funeral is full of them

I'll post the wholesynopsis now again after having done more work on it

you can find it under ALMOST PERFECT?
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 07:23 pm
Assuming that Jana and Ana learned that their father had many lovers you could say...

Many of the women attending their father's funeral had, at some point, been his lover, Jana and Anna discovered.
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ryunin
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 07:41 pm
oh well, hard to explain... the sisters learn there is this half-brother they didn't know about which is a fact number one

fact number two: at the funeral there are several women who used to be the now dead guy's lovers, mistresses

these two facts are independent. at least grammatically
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Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 07:46 pm
Your first sentence is better, ryunin. That second sentence can be a little confusing grammatically. It might sound better, though, if you changed 'dead' to 'deceased.' In the context of a funeral, it sounds more respectful.
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ryunin
 
  1  
Reply Thu 27 Jan, 2005 07:48 pm
So do you agree with this version or is it confusing?


At their father's funeral, where several ex-lovers of his take part, Jana (Tatiana Vilhelmova) and Anna (Karolina Kaiserova) learn about the existence of their half-brother Vladimir (Jan Budar).
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