Really Confused here...Could use some help PLEASE!

Hi ocso,
you've written a cute post here
Chances are you're both very young, am I right?
Love doesn't just happen within 4 months ocso, it is
a gradual build up of infatuation, being in love and
slowly graduating into love for one another.

He might be very shy and doesn't quite know how
to analyse his feelings for you. Give him some space.
and just take it one day at a time. He'll come around,
just be a bit patient.

Wait... don't *make* him break up with you over this Unless you're looking to be his wife, you shouldn't really concern yourself with, "I worry that he won't love me as much as he could", or anything similar. Love is all about learning experiences, and sometimes we've all gotta start somewhere. If he wants to stay with you, and if you like him, be careful not to worry too much.

Because if he doesn't know if he loves you, there's no guarantee at all that he'd know if he loved someone else if he found her. None. Maybe he just needs (and wants) more time with you, because he thinks you could be the first one he really fell for.

Give it time... ^^;


HOWEVER, I do suggest resolving the "hes not one to share emotions" problem. >_> It only makes things like this far more complex than they need to be.. Confront him about it, ask him more questions, be relentless if you must, to be reassured or answered with whatever concerns you have for him.

Aurora- i have tried and tried to get him to tell me what hes feeling or what hes thinking. he just tells me that he doesnt know and repeats that he isnt one to share his emotions. i know that comunication is important in any relationship and ive told him this. he just brushes it off and and says he doesnt share emotions. all i really want is an open relationship where we can tell each other anything. when we first started dating i felt that i could tell him anything and our first date i really opened up to him and told him alot about my very painful past. he also told me about his difficult childhood. and i thought i really got to know him. now im not sure if i feel so comfortable talking to him like that because he doesnt talk to me about anything. i dont know.

if anyone knows a way to get him to open up. i dont want to force him and i dont think either of us are comfortable with consoling. i know im not because there are very few people i can open up to thats why i thought it meant something when i opened up to him. i dont know.

anyone got any advice?

I'm not a guy but I know a lot of them and if you are his first girlfriend, you will be remembered and his love for you I'm sure is just as strong but keep in mind you are his first. he doesn't know how to be a boyfriend yet. So if you mess up you will be what he learns from and takes with him to the next relationship. I wouldn't break up with him unless you are tired of teaching. Love is a strong emotion and as others will tell you not one that just happens. Sounds like your in love with being in love. Some times we want sooo much to just have some one and we feel like we'll just die if we don't. Ya won't and if you are patiient this guy can be the best thing that ever has happend to you. heck you are working with a clean slate. I did the same and I have been married 14 years. I've known him longer than that. Love will happen it just takes time.

Sounds hard for you! You can't make someone open up, I think all you can do is wait and, if you love him, be kind and patient as much as possible.

If you continue to love him and treat him gently, I imagine he will one day open up. But I wouldn't ask him to talk any more, it'll just make him feel pressured.

To me, it's not what men SAY that's so important, but what they DO. If he acts as if he loves you, go ahead and wait him out. If he acts indifferent to you, Run!

Good luck to you!

thanks everyone has helped. im gunna stay with him and hopefully everything will work out. i feel for him in a way i never have for anyone else. i know we can work through this so im hoping for the best. thanks again

You will be in love many times before you find "the one". Trust me on this.