December 10, 2005
Bush Appoints Pres. Clinton as Kyoto Monitor
by Scott Ott
(2005-12-10) ?- President George Bush today announced he would appoint former President Bill Clinton as the nation's first official Kyoto monitor, sending him on a "global emissions detection mission."
In the new role, Sen. Hillary Clinton's husband will travel the world in a Toyota Prius, and "sniff around smokestacks, without inhaling" in order to find violators of the Kyoto Protocol.
When Mr. Clinton finds a factory, or automobile, that's emitting high levels of climate-changing pollutants, Mr. Bush said, "He'll act with the full authority granted under Kyoto to place a green Mr. Yuck sticker on that smokestack or tailpipe."
"I admire President Clinton's passion about reducing greenhouse gasses," said Mr. Bush in making the appointment. "He gets out in front of the facts and leads with his heart, undeterred by questionable research. Even though when he was in the White House he never submitted the Kyoto Protocol to the Senate for a vote, history will remember that he felt strongly about it. That's what makes him the kind of leader that he is."
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