DIET RULES FOR CHEATERS

Diet Rules For Cheaters

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the
candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you
don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look
thinner.

6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior
Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional
calories because they are part of the entertainment package and
not part of one's personal fuel.

7. Cookie pieces contain no fat--the process of breaking causes
fat leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you
are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut
butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon
making a sundae.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of
calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream;
mushrooms and white chocolate.

NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for
any other food color.

10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are
units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.