alcohol warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.




WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter faster and better looking than most people.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.


WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may macke you tihnk you can tipe real gode.