I need your advise!

Let him call.

Not as a matter of etiquette, but because of your past relationships.

You've had too many bad relationships--and instead of allowing a relationship to happen naturally, you're sort of trying to fill your dance card--so to speak. A man for the sake of having a man. When you go about it this way, you're bound to end up with a guy who's not right for you. And you get hurt again.

If he calls, great--but go slow.

But he may not call. Instead of waiting around, you need to immediately make a change in your life. Be more YOU oriented. Join a gym....jog with a neighbor...do something to improve your health or your outlook on life--get therapy...improve your self-esteem.

Really--all the suggestions are to improve your self-esteem. When you do, you'll attract a better class of man--and you'll love yourself. (You are the one who will always be there for you. Possibly someone else will, too--but we're sure about you.)

Men will treat you how you expect to be treated. A vibe comes off of you--and programs the relationship.

The way to control it is to raise your self-esteem. You'll expect more, your vibe will improve...

If you do, this will be the last Valentine's Day you spend alone.

(((( Fireball )))) (That means hugs.) Normally, letting him wonder if you're interested keeps the excitement up, so you don't want to lay your cards on the table just yet. But, that doesn't mean you can't call... just that you can't call all the time. From what you've said, he called you at least twice since the last time you called him, and it's been a couple of days, so give him a ring. Tease him a little... like "if you play your cards right, I'll let you take me out on Friday..." in a sexy voice.

To answer your question more directly; NO! Don't tell him you're interested. Hint that you're interested. Let your eyes and body language tell him you're interested. More opportunities are lost through indecision than bad decisions. Just do it!

Right now: Close your eyes and remember a time when you were completely comfortable, confident and happy. It doesn't matter when or why... just plant a smile on your face, close your eyes and do it for like 30 seconds to a minute then without hesitation; pick up the phone dial his number and say "Hey you! Whatcha up to?

Good Advice you two...........I agree.

How can you agree when both of them . They gave two diffrent sides.

But the thing is I don't want to sound needy at all.
I am not desperet to get a man. I just sick of being the 3rd and 5th wheel when I go out with my friends. So I tend to do things on my own. Which sucks.

I want to feel wanted again as well as needed.

Sweetie, I havnt had a boyfriend for over 2 years,all my pals are attatched and Im always filling up my days doing stuff on my own.

Yes Id LOVE to have a boyfriend but Id prefer to be on my own than go out with someone that treats me like pooh.

In answer to should you call him.Yes, why not?Lifes too short but as OCCOM says dont tell him your interested,just be flirty.

Youve had some horrid experiences but if a boyfriend doesnt treat you like a queen then get rid of them!!!!

Fireball honey, they gave you good advice. The only difference between the two that I see is one said to call , the other said not too.

But they are both telling you not to be pushy...or persistent, let things happen like they should.

Fireball, can you relax a bit? Right now, being alone for a while, this seems really important. But from the perspective of your whole life, it really doesn't matter whether he calls you or you call him.

I don't think your past bad relationships mean you are messed up. Could be just bad luck. Even if you ARE messed up, thinking these relationships were your fault won't help at all. So, forget them, if you can.

Try to have fun, fireball, that's all. If something happens, great; if not, there will be a next guy.

If you're not getting enough dates, what about an internet dating service? Not all those guys are scum, you know. I met my husband through his newspaper ad.

P.S. - I've spent the vast majority of Valentine's Days and Birthdays alone. I always buy myself a present on these days. After all, only I know what I really want (mostly, chocolate!)

thank you all. For your advise. It has helped. I did call him today. It went well. He also has been sick.

He post to call tomrrow. We will see. My friends taking me out for a drink or two this Thursday.

Good Luck (((( Fireball ))))

Fireball--

Welcome to A2K.

Reading your post I was reminded of a an experience I had when I was 20 years old. Just how is complicated, but the bottom line was that I wound up in the chorus of High Button Shoes.

We're not talking a Broadway production--this was summer stock (probably third tier summer stock). I could fake the singing, but I realized to my horror that there was no way I could be on stage in front of the drop painted with a seaside scene and fake the dancing.

A seasoned, very motherly local jobber saw my shrieking discomfort and told me "None of us know the steps until we're taught the steps."

You are 26 and despising yourself because you don't know the steps. You have to be taught the steps--or at least be given a chance to figure out the steps for yourself.

No one is born knowing all of the ins and outs of wooing and courting and High and Low Flirtation. You have to learn.


Lash and O'Bill both basically said, "Be yourself--and show yourself off to this guy." Don't push it, indicate that you're willing to learn the steps.

Lash is a self-confident woman. O'Bill is a self-confident man. Step One: Put both feet on the floor. Look self confident. Smile. Then decide what you want to do.

I'm a little troubled that you talk about this guy's kid as "the child". Obviously, you could be trying to protect his (and your) privacy. Still, "The Child" obviously has a big piece of his father's heart. Can you share?

Ask him about the kid--and if you aren't interested in the kid, forget about the guy.

Meanwhile, Happy Birthday.

You're going out for drinks on Thursday. If nothing romantic comes through for Friday, what are you going to do? Remember, you're a self-confident Woman of Mystery with Infinite Resources. What are you going to do for yourself--because you are a special person.

Noddy24,

Thank you.. No big plans on friday as of yet. I have dated a guy with kids before. I adorde the kids.

He dose not want to hurt his daughter. With a new lady around.
I do know that she is 11 and takes gymnastics. But I don't know what gym she goes too. I would like to know. I can try to get her privite lessons at a gym my brother coaches at. But right now he dose not want to have ladys come in and out of her life. I don't mind dating a man that has kids at all. As long the kids or not brats.. I know that harsh to say.
I enjoy well behave kids.

thanks again..

fireball--

If the kids are brats, this says something about Mommie and/or Daddy.

I've been dealing with step-brats for nigh on 30 years,.

Respect him for wanting his daughter to be secure, sheltered from his grownup life until that life looks as though it might include her.