I Cum in Peace (Using Self-Love to End the Conflict)

Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 06:50 pm
(I couldn't have made this up myself, but I wish I had. I have excerpted this from the website www.masturbateforpeace.com )

We've entered a time of wars and rumors of wars. Threats of terrorism and mass destruction have filled the world with fear and brought us perilously close to worldwide conflict.

There's no greater antidote for war than love. Feelings of hatred and distrust form the necessary basis of armed confrontation. Replace those negative feelings with love and you're halfway towards resolution of any conflict.

However, any real love must start from within. You can't love others without loving yourself first. And, of course, masturbation is the greatest expression of self-love. So it's natural that we, the citizens of the world, are joining together to masturbate for peace.

As we begin with this act of self-love, we encourage others to do the same, to take pleasure in life and to share masturbation's positive energy with a world in need.

Joining this movement is simple. Just masturbate in your own way, focusing your thoughts and energy towards love and peace. Encourage others to do the same.

This is an international movement for peace.
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 06:53 pm
Some suggested bumper stickers/slogans:

Touch Your Sac, Not Iraq

Cream your khakis, not Iraqis

Don't send the fleet, just beat your meat

War is ****, rub your clit

Peace is cool, pull your tool

Side with France, reach down your pants

Peace is the issue. Use a tissue.

War is Crappy, Slap Your Pappy

Slap your tool, don't fight for fuel

Rub your snake for peace's sake

War's for squares, play downstairs

Stop war now, milk your cow

When you jerk tonight, keep peace in sight.

Down with war, stroke some more

War is cruel - flog your mule

Don't attack - play with Jack

Get peace fever, rub your beaver

Give your Bush the finger!

For peace to work, you need to jerk

War is heinous, thumb your anus

You Can't Beat Off with Nuclear Arms

War is wrong, whack your schlong.

My 'friendly fire' harms no one

I'm going blind for Mankind

Think globally, whack locally
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 07:28 pm
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 07:55 pm
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 08:43 pm
Moved to jokes
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 08:52 pm
I really did have a hard time (no pun intended) finding a forum for this.

I picked the other because it seemed right for 'sexuality'...but certainly 'jokes' is appropriate as well.
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 08:57 pm
I think it's hysterical! Laughing

(better off in this forum, jokes has the "may be offensive" warning Very Happy )
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 09:08 pm
does politics have the same warning?
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 09:09 pm
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 09:36 pm
Love it!
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 10:36 pm
PDiddie, you're a riot. Great thread ... and painfully appropriate; arguing the propriety of a certain event is mental masturbation. In a sense, we've all been "Had" by The Administration; the best we can hope for now is a "Reach-Around".

timber, who may look at this reply tomorrow, and remember why its not good to post when drunk.
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Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2003 10:39 pm
Timber, if it's painfull, you're prolly not doing it right..... but maybe you like a little pain.
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Reply Wed 19 Feb, 2003 08:46 am
I know loads about not to post when you're drunk... those posts usually ends up having an edit or two Drunk
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Reply Wed 19 Feb, 2003 02:02 pm
Are these slogans a result of natural evolution of the well-known Make Love, Not War[/b]?
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Reply Wed 19 Feb, 2003 02:11 pm
Didn't anyone click on the link?

Top 10 Reasons to Masturbate for Peace

10. It's too cold to go outside and demonstrate
9. If I go blind they can't draft me
8. The walls need painting white anyway
7. This is my weapon, this is my gun; this one's for shootin'....oh, never mind.
6. If you want it done right you have to do it yourself
5. All the lube will give me a baby-soft dork
4. It may be the only "peace" I'll be getting for awhile
3. If I use my left hand, it feels like someone else has joined my cause
2. What else am I going to do with the 80 GB of porn on my PC?
1. Because I can't give myself a peace blowjob
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Reply Wed 19 Feb, 2003 02:39 pm
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