HOW AM I DOC?

A little old woman called the Hospital. "Hello, I'd like to talk with the person who gives patient information. Hold I will connect you." Then a very authoritative voice asks, "Are you the lady who is calling for patient information?"

She said, "Yes - I'd like to know the information about Sarah Finkel, in Room 302."

He said, "Finkel. Finkel. Let me see. Oh yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, and if she continues this way, her doctor is going to send her home Tuesday at twelve o'clock."

The woman said, "Thank God! That's wonderful! She's going home at twelve o'clock! I'm so happy to hear that. That's great news!"

The guy on the other end answered, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be a close family member."

She said, "Close? I'll say! . . . I AM Sarah Finkel! But my doctor doesn't tell me anything!"