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About valid reasons in leaving a partner you love and respect

 
 
Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 06:21 pm
I recently told my boyfriend that I don't want this relationship anymore with simply two words (in our own language). I was trying to engage him in a conversation of assessment about our relationship, which was to include sex. I have a higher sex drive than him, but when we do it's always majestic. It often leads me to be upset that I can't even kiss or touch him when I like. He wasn't as responsive to my questions and told me he was only being polite by replying and actively tried to change the topic because he hated discussing it [he did express his dislike before]. I wanted to be on check with where we were at the point of our lives together but he is so distracted with the stress he receives from his family and work. Too much on his plate for a long while that he couldn't bare to take in some more and even just to discuss it. So I said I don't want this anymore.

Apart from the sex, we are not a perfect match, we have a 30yr gap but I can tolerate everything else. I love them about him. And I am sure he accepts me for who I am. Did I make the right call? Or did I just throw away the love of my life because of my sexual desires that can't be met?
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roger
 
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Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 06:27 pm
@whiptail,
whiptail wrote:

I recently told my boyfriend that I don't want this relationship anymore with simply two words (in our own language). I was trying to engage him in a conversation of assessment about our relationship, which was to include sex.


I don't know, but right here it sounds like you told him you and he were finished, but you were expecting this to start a discussion. If a woman said something like that to me, that would have been the very end of the discussion.
whiptail
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 06:43 pm
@roger,
I told him we were through after I tried to engage him in a conversation and refused to discuss it. I am not sure if I was just being impulsive or what when I said I don't want this anymore. He told me things like, I know how he feels about me, he'd be there for me but it would be unfair for him to ask me to bear with him because of all he's going through now.

Do you think sex frequency discrepancy is a deal breaker if you really love the person and there's so much respect and trust already?
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Dec, 2017 06:51 pm
@whiptail,
It's not a good idea to threaten when you don't mean it. It can backfire on you. And it did!

His unwillingness to talk to you about the relationship, to assure you that, in spite of his job and family issues, you are the most important thing in his life, and his low sex drive all combine to be real issues for you.

The 30 year difference is huge and the gap - especially sexual- will only increase. Are you willing to accept that?

He's actually pushing you away perhaps in the hope you will leave first.

Lots to think sbout.

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