quick responses/put downs

Never underestimate the power of the single raised eyebrow, followed by a turn and look for someone interesting.
Works for me.
LTX

It's all in the delivery, and it doesn't have to have anything to do with what the person has said. Here are a couple off the top of my head.

"It must be so relaxing painting."

"It must be so relaxing being a moron."


"It must be so relaxing painting."

"Here's a quarter. Go f*ck yourself."


"It must be so relaxing painting."

"Blow me."


I like the last one best, personally. The classics never go out of style.

That was our report from NY
Stay tuned for sports with Ed Reilly.

Overheard on an insult thread


It's quiet at work today.

_________________

That's because today is a holiday and everyone else was smart enough to stay home.

.... I see you don't understand painting at all...

(Actually, I find more people frightened by painting than those who figure it's relaxing.) Except for those who think their four year old could do better (yawn).

Actually, a yawn could be a good answer, if you could pull it off. Drive them nuts with envy.

I fancy working on the shewolf stare! - yes! that can be very disconcerting - I had a tutor who did it to perfection, leaving you crawling into a deeper and deeper hole of mindless explanations and just wanting to die!

some of the other stuff may be a little too confrontational - thought tempting

yes Cav, the spontaneity ... exactly the problem.

eyebrow raising ...mmmm .... could work on some people quite well

Yes, Osso I think 'so, I see you know nothing about painting' with a disarming smile might help - they won't be quite sure how much they've been insulted!

Relaxing? Only if you don't care how it comes out.

Well, Vivian ....? We're waiting with baited breath: Have you managed to use any of these clever retorts yet?

I've had this lousy flu and have hardly been out for 3 weeks other than work - and I missed a week of that. No chance yet!

vivian--

All the better. The bon mots will have settled into your memory banks where they will be easily extracted at time of need.

Three weeks of flu! Poor Vivian!
Still, all the time in bed will give you plenty of time to plan for the next encounter!

Hi Vivien, I often get odd comments (not that I can remember them now), and my usual reponse is something entirely neutral....I have a small stock of them...."Oh, really?" "Is that so?" "How interesting." "Do you think so?"

If I say enough of these, people go on babbling all joyously until my one eyebrow goes up and I break into stunned silence. These phrases are quite handy, especially if you use one after another until they're in so deep they couldn't shovel their way out.

Funny, I can't do the eyebrow thing in the mirror, I have to actually be annoyed to do it. Once the Dead Silence & Eyebrow thing happens, if that doesn't work, I simply turn away.

For the relaxing-painting thing, I might retort, "Only if you don't know what you're doing."