I think you're overthinking this.
I've got plenty of friends whose family I have never met, and I bet you do, too. So your #2 issue is kinda moot. Same with #1 - lots of people wear crosses, for example, yet they really aren't religious. Those two things don't go together 100% of the time and the same is true of women and girls who wear a hijab.
As for your #3, sometimes you have to make a choice when it comes to your loved ones. But talk to them. You might think they would have a fear response when they wouldn't. And the same thing with talking every misinformed person into relaxing. That's not your job. So I think your #3 is a lot of avoidance behavior.
Want to be friends with someone? Then do so. Don't? Then don't. The reason you are or aren't is your reason alone - you don't have to mention it to anyone, even if they ask.
And consider this. It is within living memory when people would be ostracized for being friends with someone of another sexuality, or faith, or race. The times, they are a-changin'. Better to be a part of that change than rail against it, for that is a losing cause.