Hi hubi, and welcome! I'm a female, 43, also married 8 years now.
Seems to me sex is one of the first things to go when something goes wrong in a relationship (though no doubt others would disagree!)
My guess is something is bothering her, and she hasn't told you about it.
Do you talk often? Could you gently ask her if something is happening which might be affecting her sexual feelings for you? You'd have to pick a safe and quiet time to ask this, I think, but it's certainly worth talking about.
If she says "Nothing is wrong," you might want to tell her the things you've told us here, just to remind her that it's really clear something IS wrong. I wouldn't let it go without getting some kind of answer, but this could take days or weeks. Clearly you've talked about it somewhat, but I think you really need to find out more from her before doing anything.
I would think your feelings are hurt, and you feel angry. Most people would feel hurt and angry. So talking calmly might be difficult. You only need to put your bad feelings aside long enough to find out what's going on with her. And I'd imagine it would be worth the effort, as it sounds like things were great until fairly recently.
Other folks here will no doubt have better/different ideas, so please keep checking back. Wish you the best of luck!
Sorry. Communication is the most important aspect of a relationship, I'm sure you knew that, so when one partner cannot convey/communicate and is acting differently, I say go to a marriage councilor asap. There is no shame in it at all (some people are dead set against it)
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