I don't know if I pecked someone when I was drunk

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My boyfriend and I were together for about 2 and a half years until we broke up in march this year. We stayed broken up until mid August this year. I was absolutely devastated through the whole break up, however he managed to sleep with 2 different girls, which is completely regrets now as this has caused me a lot of pain and required us to continue to work on our now 4 month relationship. Recently I went away with my friend to her hometown, we had a great weekend where I continued to speak about my problems with my boyfriend to help air out my worries. We went out clubbing on one of the nights, where there was a boy who I admit I found attractive. He was a friend of my friends and therefore we were dancing around him for a short period of time. He tried to kiss me at one point in which I pulled away straight away. However at the end of the night after I was completely out of my mind drunk, I remember seeing him as we were all the leaving the club. I remember doing the European sort of exchange where you touch cheeks and switch sides without actually kissing if you know what I mean, but I've also convinced myself we very BRIEFLY pecked. My friend swears she was with me the whole night and watched me say goodbye in this way and says that this didn't happen at all. She thinks that because I found him attractive at the beginning of the night that I am making this situation worse in my head. However I fee as though if I can picture myself doing this in my head, did I do it? I feel so sick with guilt that I don't know what to do.

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 986 • Replies: 11

[+3] - ehBeth - 11/27/20171. you drank too much 2. you're not sure what happened 3. you're feeling guilty about something that likely didn't happen you need assistance talk to a professional there must be...

@anonymous1896,

Don't sweat it. This is exceptionally minor.

Worry a LOT more about the fact that you were out of your mind drunk. That's a recipe for disaster right there.

2 Replies

@jespah,

I feel like it is so minor, both my mum and my friend are so confused as to why I'm so worried but I am the worlds worst liar when I comes to things like that. My parents had a lot of problem with cheating and so it is completely out of the ordinary for me to even consider doing something like that, I just feel as though I have given my boyfriend so much grief for sleeping with two girls when we weren't even together, and now I think I may have pecked someone else.

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@jespah,

jespah wrote:

Worry a LOT more about the fact that you were out of your mind drunk. That's a recipe for disaster right there.

this ^

look at talking to someone about the drinking

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I don't plan on drinking too much anymore, I am a student and I don't really feel like I have too much of a problem. I'm more worried about how to deal with the guilt I'm feeling, do I tell him about my feelings

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@anonymous1896,

1. you drank too much
2. you're not sure what happened
3. you're feeling guilty about something that likely didn't happen

you need assistance

talk to a professional

there must be counselling services at your school

0 Replies

@anonymous1896,

You don't have to lie about the peck at all. At all.

It happened. Quick little accident. No harm, no foul.

Now stop obsessing over this, because it's really nothing - and it's giving you internal permission to minimize any issues with drinking.

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@anonymous1896,

i think that you shouldnt worry. after some time you will forget you even made this up, so just wait it out and dont worry yourself

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@anonymous1896,

Quote:

I'm more worried about how to deal with the guilt I'm feeling

Like everybody else, I find surprising that you would feel so guilty about such trivial matter, although I'm not entirely clear what "peck" means in this context. Not a native speaker, sorry. Does it mean you kissed that boy on the cheek, or on the mouth (closed)?

Kissing on the cheek is what friends do to say hello, where I'm from. But that's not where you're from. Guess you speak from the perspective of someone with much higher moral standards about cheating than mine. You broke your own standards, and you feel bad about it.

You are right about that. The only moral perspective that counts in this case is yours.

Two options come to mind: one is to speak to your BF about it. That's risky but the "right" way to go. It could work, especially if your BF is a good man. He could laugh the whole matter off (as he should) and relieve you of your guilt feeling. It could also backfire spectacularly and ruin everything. The wisest advice on the matter is "N'avouez jamais!", I believe.

Another option is to lower your standards, not necessarily in the way you assess your own behaviour, but at least when judging others. You could go easy on judging your BF about his own supposed "trangressions" of your norms, for instance.

That'd be in application of the saying: "Let (s)he who's without sin throw the first stone".

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Oh my gosh even if you pecked him the way you described that is no big deal - I peck friends that way and family. A peck is a quick little kiss.

When I first read this - just the title - I thought you were pecking in a whole different area with a different body part.

My goodness - I think you need to learn how to deal with your guilt like you said. It sounds as if you didn't even do it; and really it is something you would do with a friend to say hello (at least in many cultures).

I think your guilt is more likely that you found him attractive and were attracted to him. If so, this is perfectly normal - stopping and not doing anything about your attraction actually shows your dedication to your boyfriend. Maybe if you look at it that way it will lessen your guilt.

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@anonymous1896,

There is absolutely nothing wrong, or sexual about a peck on the cheek. I often say goodbye to my lady friends with a quick peck, more often than not in front of their husbands. It's no different from shaking hands.

What you should be more concerned about is getting so blind drunk that you don't know what happened and could be taken advantage of.

If things had gone differently you might be starting a thread asking if you'd been raped.

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I think you are feeling more guilty about what you THINK or felt than what you actualyy did. He was cute; you found him attractive. He tried to kiss you once, but you pulled away. Then a goodbye "peck" ended up being more than just that (according to you.) All this being drunk "out of your mind"

Re-evaluate your drinking and your commitment to a guy who you just got back with - but did a lot more than just peck when you weren't around.

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I don't know if I pecked someone when I was drunk

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