Should I tell her I`m on the Down Low.........

It is hard to give thoughts & suggestions when the problem isn't clear.

Is down low slang for Depression?
If yes, then yes, you should tell your wife.

"On the down low" is a slang term.

Treble is saying that he occasionally has sex with men.

Can't really offer any advice, but welcome to A2K.

Oh! I never would have associated homosexual sex
with "down low".

Well, I don't know what to say, except that your wife
is entitled to know, regardless.

If I was your wife, treblecleffman, I think I'd want to know. Especially if I was having unprotected sex with you .... whether you are having sex with other men, or women. You could be putting your wife at risk, but I don't know the details ....

uh..... simple answer.. YEAH.

discreet sex isnt discreet when you are not single.
being on the d/l you STILL dont know who/what you are coming in contact with. doesnt matter how clean they look or what they tell you .. you still dont know. d/l just means that it is secret from others except those who are also on the d/l. if you dont respect her enough to tell her what you are doing then that is between you and her. but it isnt fair to jeopordize her health . inthe event you contact aids ,not tell her of the possibility, and she gets it, that is involuntary man slaughter in some states.

You must tell her, treble.

You're cheating and lying and placing her health at risk. You need to tell her now. If you can't respect her enough to be honest about life and death situations, why be married to her?

It is a matter of honesty, and integrity. You are leading a secret life, and putting your wife's life in danger, to boot. I does not matter whether your cheating is with another woman or men. Deceit is deceit.

I would tell her immediately. Yes, you may lose your marriage. Obviously, it was not much of a concern to you, when you began your "adventures". If you love her the way that you say that you do, you need to "fess up", and make things right.

Oh, and you both need to get tested for STDs.

PLEASE tell her.

I would want to know.

If the marriage is worth saving, the two of you will work things out. If not, you are being selfish by trying to have it both ways while keeping her in an unsafe and deceitful relationship.

squinney- I think that selfish not a strong enough description. I think that he is being immature, and totally irresponsible!

Agreed. I had a few other words, but probably not acceptable to the hamsters.

Yeah, I've been holding back with a few words myself and I think they might be similar to yours, squinney ;-)

Actually, I'd be surprised if your wife didn't have some idea that there were things she didn't know ...

Your behavior is disgusting and disrespectful, not to mention dangerous.

Happily married and cheating on a regular basis.

Ugh.

I would lay low about the down low, or you might lose your down there....

Of course you should tell her. Why would you think you shouldn't? If your wife is of childbearing age you are risking not only her health but that of any potential unborn baby.

I used to do HIV and AIDS counseling. We once had to notify a woman that her test confirmed positive for HIV. She was 28 years old and had recently been married. She came in for counseling and said she had confronted her husband of 8 months when she got our letter. He admitted to being bisexual and of course he tested positive. She was 12 weeks pregnant. This woman went from being on cloud nine - a newlywed, newly pregnant, to having 1 week to decide whether to continue with her pregnancy.

You do not have the right not to tell her of your activities.