History Lessons

These were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is so bad that all the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where the made unleavened bread, which is made without any ingrediants. Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. Julius Caeser extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus.

5. Queen Elizabeth was the Virgin Queen. As Queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah".

6. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another great invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and stated smoking. Sr. Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

7.The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year of 1564 supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies. and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

8. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided cannot stand". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

9. The nineteenth century was a time of great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madam Curie discovered the radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.