I need guidance...

Re: I need guidance...


Have you told her that? If it is really the one keeping her from falling in love with you, then tell her.

But just one thing... already in love? Hmm...

First... be wary of women with hickies in places you can not hide them... they can not be trusted...

Second... you waited two days to get back to her... what did you expect?

Third... what are these plans you are willing to change? College? If so, don't do it. This is your future and a few weeks of good sex isn't worth throwing away your plans for.

Fourth... Welcome to A2K.

Thank you for your quick responses and warm welcome!

I am the one who gave her the hickies, hehe.

Without phone numbers I only saw her at work...I couldn't reach her for those two days.

I am done with college and am looking to join the Coast Guard. I do not have to join now, and haven't even signed on the dotted line...but yes, it was my plan to leave in 9 months for OCS.

I have just been dealt a bad hand of cards in every relationship, as well as her. It had been five years since she had a serious relationship and two years for myself.

Is this just a matter of taking a giant leap? I'm a very methodical and mathematicaly inclinded person, and I can't derive any logic from love between two people...and I can't predict the result, which is very scary to me.

I figured as much... but stilll... she can't be trusted.

Do you have any other plans besides the Coast Guard? What will you do if you decide not to go? Stay where you are? Will this make you happy?

You can't predict how things will work out becasue you are dealing with human beings who can at time be devoid of all logic and reason. Love isn't an equation... it is a feeling. What do you like about this girl? I know you just met but is she somebody you can see yourself with for a long time or is she just a nice option after a two year hiatus?

I'm new here as well. I am not judging this girl in anyway, but i always have a theory of easy come easy go.

It does not seem like you had to work very hard to "get" her. Be wary of falling in love on that easy come/easy go basis. That being said, I hope for your happiness to continue and things will work out for the best naturally.

I don't get how the other gentleman is completely unaware of there being another guy...I mean, doesn't HE question the extra hickies?

As a sidebar, learn to be passionate without leaving hickies. Hickies are not cool. When you can please a woman's neck without leaving hickies, you will be her favorite.

From a females point of view, I would try to take a few steps back. Females have this innate instinct to know when a guy is head over heals , and I have seen many of my male friends in situations like yours wishing they had just said NO!

And I agree with jpinMilwaukee, don't put your future on hold. Make sure you do what's best for you!

Geez, these folks have great advice! I really like them all.

As a female, I'd advise that you let her know for sure that you'd be willing to change your plans IF she still felt the same way when the time came for you to leave (or in several months).

Women really like to know what men's feelings are, and so many guys have problems voicing them. She'd probably think you were way cool for expressing something like this, and you'd definitely be one-of-a-kind in her eyes.

Apparently, you don't have to make a decision TODAY about whether you'll stay or go, do you? You can wait a month or even 2, at least, to see what happens. So maybe you could try to relax about that? (I know that's easier said than done!)

And a good point was, how could the other guy not notice the hickeys? He's not actually blind, is he?

One thing, it kind of bothers me that she hasn't told the other guy about you. Competition is just fine; hiding things is NOT, at all. Has she given you any reasons for not telling him? Does she think you're determined to go no matter what happens, and so maybe thinks you "don't count" or something of the sort?

I wish you the best of luck; lots of happy feelings pouring out....

Additional comment before I begin: He though he did it. Yes, I think the same thing the rest of you do...how could you not know if you gave someone a hicky. Hehe. Anyways, I won't speak ill of him, it isn't right.

*sigh*

Hi guys.

She came over right in the middle of another post...which I quickly deleted to answer the door. She brought me this poem:

Your eyes alone could steal away with stronger hearts than mine
So intoxicating they could capture lifes breathe
Your body betrays to enable your steps
And the fluttering of a chaotic heart
How then shall we lose control so fast.
Yet it compares to only time.
Do our eyes not fall on that which we desire
searching, empowering, deepening, longing.
Honorably?
Why then do people hide behind illusions
Surviving on shadows of half truths
Yet it compares to only time.
Time alone can retain fortiude over us
And how shall we command a heart that betrays
So Father Time shall wield his weapon of power.
So thread your strings lady who claims Fate Miaden Clothe, Mother Lacheia, Woman Ateapis
And Icarus will fall from grace a second time
That our life will escape our breathe
For it compares to nothing but time.

I thought it was a great poem...it really hits us both on the nail. Chaotic hearts...I have heart disease. Icarus is her name. Are we allowed to post that? I don't see how it could hurt...

Then she wrote another one, which I adored...but I can't discern what her mood is throughout the whole thing:

Not much good to sit and stare at the ceiling again
Hang the emblem of my legacy on the wall
Silence has no virtue, so I listen to Tori sing Crucify
Wonder just how much Brian knows about his music
How important it is to him, and you, and me
I sit on the dock again,
Pondering humanity...
tis all I ever wanted, to make someone happy, to help just one.
God I've tried

Nice to see my illusions shattered again
Nobody wants help, even when they cling for it.
I pity the human condition that can be so full of [removed]
And I fear for you,
Because if you're like them...
I don't want to shatter any more illusions.
I just want the truth, you know?
The damned cry their condemnations though.
maybe thats why i cant shut them out
why i cant escape the cataclysm
why i grow colder inside
why i turn from healer to destroyer
From angel to demo
Why I come home to an empty house
And a corpsein the mirror
I found the truth, I've tried to face it.
People are so damned weak, So Flighty
So quick to judge.
They stand on high and cast their stones in Fits of rage and idiocy.

And in the end, after the walls break down
the rage is locked away one more time.
So I make my way up the hill, smiling my bitter smile
Knowing it doesn't matter anyways.

(then she added)
So I'm ducking out this way, not because I'm a coward, or for lack of respect, but because I couldn't go through with having to look into your eyes. I hope we can pull something out of all of this, because I do enjoy your presence and your voice. But if you choose not to I also understand.
Either way, thanks for everything.

XO
Icarus

So I read these right next to her and we talked...and kissed...and made love. And it seemed so right. GRRR I did it again! There is still no resolution on who she is going to see or if I am going to see her tomorrow...

I am still very puzzled. You all have been most helpful thus far, thank you very much. I still need more though. :-[

On the same hand, she didn't have to work very hard to "get him" either. If two people get along great, and they both want to have sex, there's nothing wrong with it. Holding it off for a while "just becasue" is stupid.

And, you haven't mentioned what's going on with her and the other guy. Are they still seeing each other? Does she have feelings for the both of you?

You do have to take a step back, though. Don't be so quick to pull the trigger on not going to the Coast Guard. Sounds like you have no idea if she feels the same for you.

You are right...I find it hard to listen to her when she tells me that I am handsome and that she loves to kiss me, etc.. That I have such a great personality...well, yeah but you are kinda seeing another guy. It almost makes everything else null and void.

He gave her a ride one night, and I saw her an hour later and we spent the night. I don't see how they can have a stronger connection than I do with her. My opinion is complete biassed...and I don't even confront her about that because I don't think it is my place to judge who is the better man. Part of me wants to call him up and tell him everything but...no. I would never.

The sex doesn't bother me...not in the respect that I don't like it...hehe, I do! Seriously, the first time was sex. After that it felt more like making love...which is what today felt like.

There is one person who talks to both of us...someone I plan on speaking to tomorrow. He is the personel manager for the whole strip area...and I know we have both talked to him about the situation. I feel like crying on his shoulder, which is probably what I will do. Oh, and just incase anyone should raise the question...I do feel very comfortable telling people about my emotions and so does the PR manager. I think it is normal.

On another tangent...I just compare the time she has spent with the two of us guys. I can add. I think a huge reason for her being indecisive is that he went around and announced their courting to everyone...and she might feel/be shunned upon for switching horses midstream.

I don't know...I'm feeling angry, which I shouldn't.

We decided that since I am leaving she is going to be with him. It does make me sad...but it is the right thing to do.

Thanks for your help getting me through this...I knew this would come to a close soon and today was the day.

You guys are all very supportive! THANK YOU!!

Aw. I started to write about how I had been in the exact same situation, but since I ended up choosing the first guy, I thought that would be too depressing and didn't post it.

Good luck.

Don't worry about it...she was a little flaky about the whole thing anyway, you'll find better.