erection confusion

If you have a great sex life, then enjoy it. Men are all different (just like women are different). I have never heard of anyone "willing it to get hard". More likely, it is being inside you that makes him truly aroused. I don't see the problem in this.

I don't think you should worry about it. I doubt that he worries about it.

I do think you should talk to him about what turns him on, and then do what he says. Likewise you should tell him what turns you on... and let him do what you say. That's how great sexual relationships work. Worrying about how things "should" be done (rather than on what makes you both happy) is not only a stupid waste of time... it is depressing and can cause problems.

I would pay attention to the types of medications he takes. For instance if I take tramadol. It's a type of pain killer. My penis will do it's own thing. It depends on how aroused I am. How much medicine I have taken. Or the length of time since the lasttime I have ejaculated. You also have to factor in his age. It really could be a numberof things in my opinion. Just pay attention to when it happens. Also oral manipulation or masturbating feels different than penetration. At least he is getting a full erection during intercourse. If it comes to the point where it interferes with either of you being able to enjoy sex, or you think it could be a medical condition. Then maybe it should be discussed. As for asking him directly, I don't think it is a good idea. No matter how much love and trust is in your relationship. Talking to your partner about that area of the body is a touchy subject. Especially when it could be perceived in a negative way. Even if you didn't mean it that way. A person's biggest critic, is usually themselves. For example., you are worried If you're causing it. If is penis is working for you, then go with it. Momma always told me, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Just a little humor. A semi-hard penis is referred to as a half-chub. Please go easy on me if you disagree. This is my first time commenting on any kind of forum. Let alone a forum of this subject. I hope I helped you some.

This is true. You do need to be open. But when it comes down to discussing it. Please wait. I would really advise it. Because you can't take back word's. By all means, tell him how you like it. Not how to do it. But like it. Don't be afraid to tell him when he Is doing it right.

Age? On medication? Anxious about work, kids , etc?

Have you ever gone away in vacation? How was it then?

I disagree with you. And, as a middle aged man... I have been on both sides of this conversation. Talking is always better than not talking.

When I was a young man, like most young men I had a list of things that I was sure would please a woman. Do this, then do this... and this is sure to make her have an orgasm. Then I started having serious relationships with real women. I realized that every woman is different and I learned that I had to find out what my partner wanted if I wanted to please her. This meant listening and being receptive.

For some reason the myth that men are all the same is even more difficult to change. Men are still regarded as simple sexual machines, you do this and this happens. That isn't true at all... what I want during sex has even changed at different times of my life.

Whether your partner is a man or a woman, you should not judge and you should not pressure. Judgment and pressure ruin sex no matter who you are. I would also say that any question about medical conditions your partner may or may not have is not your business. If you have a caring relationship you might want to talk about it... but in this conversation you should be listening rather than telling.

But absolutely you should talk. Talk about what you like. Talk about what you don't like. Talk about what he likes. Talk about fantasies. You need to know what knocks his socks off. And he needs to know too. That is what great sex is... two people in tune with each other making each other feel great.

If his lack of an erection pre-coitus is a problem for you... be understanding and talk about it in a positive way, talk about solutions and about what would make this better for you. Realize that each man (and each woman) is different and that great sex means appreciating the uniqueness of each of us.

If you are just worried about what is normal.... there is no point to that. Just enjoy what you have.

You are saying be open with your partner about what you enjoy. Then you turn around and say that the medical conditions they may or may not have, are not my business. Really! How open is that? I'm not trying for you to agree with me.
The issue at hand could be caused by a medical condition. This is what my point is.

You can be open with your partner about what you enjoy. You can accept that any medical condition your partner may or may not have are his or her business (you don't control the body of your partner).

These are two separate issues. I still don't see what your point is.

Erections come in all forms, some males simply cant get hard and remain 50/50 like yours . There is one solution... you can take a 1/4 cut of viagra and have him dilute it in water. This usually works for flaccid guys. GL

You really enjoy resurrecting these old zombie threads, don't you.