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Sun 16 Feb, 2003 09:46 am
1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
2. How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away?
3. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In Bed
4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye
5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself, Or Go Bowling
6. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
7. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
8. I Just Bought a Car From a Guy That Stole My Girl, but The Car
Don't Run; so I figure we Got An Even Deal
9. I Keep Forgetten' I Forgot About You
10. I Liked You Better, Before I Knew You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
12. I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
13. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
14. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
15. Please Bypass this Heart?
16. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
17. Mama Get a Hammer (There's a Fly On Papa's Head)
18. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
19. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
There's an actual one titled: HONEY LET'S GET DRUNK AND SCREW.
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up
If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl
She's Actin' Single I'm Drinkin' Doubles
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me
Did I Shave my Legs for This?
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
Hold On To Your Men Cause She's Single Again
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
You're Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump
Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed
Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
You're a Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure
Make Me Late For Work Today
How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
All I Want From You (Is Away)
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
Let Me Sleep On Your Pool Table 'Cause There's Another Man In My Bed
and of course
in the elevator of your love and i been shafted and i've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart
I've heard some of the songs listed by dys and jerry. It wasn't pretty, but somebody had to do it.
By: Jack Clement
Well he's not very handsome to look at
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog
Egg-suckin' dog
I'm gonna stomp your head in the ground
If you don't stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound
Now if he don't stop eatin' my eggs up
Though I'm not a real bad guy
I'm gonna get my riffle and send him
To that great chicken house in the sky
Egg-suckin' dog
Your always hangin' around
But you'd better stay out of my hen house
You dirty old egg-suckin' hound
LOL I agree Dyslexia, hahaha!
Edgar
I love the "honey, lets get drunk and screw"! I'd love to actually listen to that song after I've had a few glasses of wine, haha!
I don't recall who sang it. When I married my wife 25 years ago there was a copy in my mother-in-law's home.
LOL! Looks like you have a cool mother-in-law :-)
My m-in-law is in her mid or upper seventies and went on a date last week.
That's awsome. She's getting more action than I am, lol!
More than most folks I know.
Mother Ain't Dead, She's Just Asleep
I know that Jimmy Buffet sang that scfrew-song and it's called A Love Song(From A Different Point Of View) written by M. Gardens, and the liveversion from Atlanta, GA is excellent.
Another title I remember (joke) was "I kissed her on the lips, and left her behind for you"
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