Is the paragraph okay?

Hi Ori,
Are you and Mr. Chen both in the photograph? If someone else operated the camera, you'll want to say, "... photograph that was taken..." or something like that.

You need a "the" before "bookcase."

"Quartz" wouldn't be obvious from the photograph, and doesn't add anything.

"... whose hands clearly indicate the time" would be a more usual usage. It's a bit odd that you can see the second hand in a clock that's not the focus of the photograph; perhaps that's a little too accurate. Thirteen minutes would be enough, I think.

And finally, how does the clock indicate the date? You may have to use another sentence clarifying how you know the date.

These are such little changes, compared to your writing a while ago. My congratulations on your improvement -- you have done a lot of work!

Happy New Year!

Thank you Wy.

I post the two threads just for the purpose of how to properly appreciate writings not written by me.

Happy New Year!