Racism question

I have a bit of a philosophical dilemma. Think of Stephen King, the people who wrote for Dexter, etc. They are really good at coming up with horribly sick and twisted ideas, but I doubt any of them are actual psychopaths or have any desire to commit murder. Having said that, I have a question about racism.

I have lots of friends of various ethnicities. When I talk to or about them, I do not think of them as "my <race> friend <name>." The reasons they are my friends have nothing to do with what they look like. Knowing these people comes with exposure to their senses of humor. With our current president, racial epithets have come up more than once.

This is not one of those, "can I get away with the n-word" type threads. The thing I'm wondering is, what if your brain is instantly able to come up with extremely offensive things to say to people, though you would feel terrible if you actually said those things?

For example, I'm pretty sure anyone on the Internet could quickly come up with several fat jokes they know would be hurtful to a fat person. We've probably heard them all. I don't think that makes us ANTIFA (anti-fat). It just makes us human.

So, does an ability to, in a way similar to general quick-wittiness, come up with the most racist things imaginable to say make you similar to a racist?

I'm of the opinion that there is no such thing as thought-crime. Our character is not determined by the thoughts in our heads, but by the actions we take in the physical world. I say we are defined by our ego rather than our id.