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Tue 28 Dec, 2004 07:02 pm
Hallo
can anyone please re-write this letter to make it look proffessional?
Dear Sir,
Respectfully I should like to draw your kind attention to the following few lines describing how in our company, a small incident, in which I was involved, has turned into a big issue and seek your forgiveness of my mistakes which has caused a lot of discomfort and stress to those working in it
Dear Sir,
Respectfully I should like to draw your kind attention to the following few lines describing the situation, which prompted me to take steps that, later on, proved to be blunders and seek your forgiveness of those mistakes which may have caused trouble for the company.
My first mistake was that when I left for home after work, instead of informing you I informed my immediate authority about my departure
The day after I failed to came to office late and was informed that there had had been a mistake made about the delivery of some articles of which task I was in-charge and was asked to take two days off so that they had time to settle the matter. But unfortunately on account of an illness I could not report at the office and I was late by four days.
I seek your favour to give me another chance and promise I would not give a reason to regret it.
Thank you in advance.
Dear Sir,
Respectfully I should like to draw your kind attention to the following few lines describing how in our company, a small incident, in which I was involved, has turned into a big issue and seek your forgiveness of my mistakes which has caused a lot of discomfort and stress to those working in it
Good God, are you trying to fruit up the Pickwick Papers or what? Kidding. But the mode of that incredibly long, pretentious run on sentence is staggering. Don't use any of that first one.
Dear Sir,
Respectfully I should like to draw your kind attention to the following few lines describing the situation, which prompted me to take steps that, later on, proved to be blunders and seek your forgiveness of those mistakes which may have caused trouble for the company.
OR--
DearSir--
Recently, I have made an uncharacteristic error in judgement, and I'm concerned that your company may bear/ has suffered consequences.
My first mistake was that when I left for home after work, instead of informing you I informed my immediate authority about my departure
I regret that I didn't inform you before I left work for the day on the(date).
The day after I failed to came to office late and was informed that there had had been a mistake made about the delivery of some articles of which task I was in-charge and was asked to take two days off so that they had time to settle the matter. But unfortunately on account of an illness I could not report at the office and I was late by four days.
The task (whatever it is--it's hard to tell) was my responsibility. I failed to carry through in a manner acceptable to a client, and in a manner acceptable to me. This has been a somber lesson for me, and a mistake that I will never repeat. I am sincerely sorry for the inconvenience it has caused you. In this business/industry/town, one's reputation is of paramount importance. Please call me at your earliest convenience, and let's discuss how I/my company can make this up to you.
I seek your favour to give me another chance and promise I would not give a reason to regret it.
Again, please accept my sincerest apology for my error.
Thank you in advance.
Thank you in advance? You've got to be kidding. He's still pissed. I think utter humility is in order for the forseeable future.
Strike that "please call me". It should be "I would like to call on you within the week to discuss how I/my company can make this up to you. We value our relationship with you."
Hallo Lash,
Oh my, I did not expect to get the answer so fast. Thank you so much.
The 'thank you' in my last post was not meant for the boss, it was for the person who was going to rewrite the letter.
What does the expression "fruit up the Pick wick papers" mean?
You english is so good! you must be a native speaker.
Thank you again
(laughing)
Was thanking in advance the end of your letter or to us?
(I may have to write a letter of apology...)
I was kidding you about the very formal tone of your letter.
Starting with "Respectfully"--and "I should like to"--
Some people here may disagree with me. I just think stiff grammar and long words doesn't make a letter better.
Anyway, its so nice to write a letter of apology, and even nicer taking responsibility for what happens. I noticed you didn't try to blame someone else. I wish you good luck.
Oh, and I am sorry about the term "pretentious". It wouldn't apply to someone who's primary language isn't English. You're so good with it, I thought you were a native speaker, as well.
Lash--
A2K has accommodations for second thoughts.
Find the post you'd like to amend.
Click "Edit".
Edit. You may choose to say why you've chosen to edit--or you may not.
Click "Submit".
Your advice was excellent.
Hi Lash,
Yes the 'thank you' was meant for you.
You need not feel offended at all because I want you to spare me no criticism. What you say is actually true. Several people have given similar comments on my letter. But what can I do Lash? I feel so frustrated when I fail to write a good letter. I wish i could use english language the way you people do. But such a goal seems to be eternaly elusive. I am not pessimistic but reality is sometimes too hard put up with. And the reality is that I can't write delightful english. How I wish I could!
Plz Lash! give me somekind of pill that has the property to cure lingual infirmity. Plz do..and remeber I said "spare me no criticism". I want to improve my written english. I teach conversational english but when it comes to writing a letter I fell miserable.
Plz help.
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